Are you expected to tell your partner everything?

[xxxxhelpxxxx]

My partner expects me to tell him everything about my children (they are adults btw). They are not his children. My daughter is struggling with mental health and tending towards hoarding. She put a Facebook post up about it, which he read. I wanted to go to see her and told him that I was going (detail removed by moderator). And he said nothing in response. Didn’t even say he’d seen teh post. He doesn’t like me going to see them without him. He doesn’t like me doing anything without him anyway, makes it very difficult for me to see them and the grand children.

I’m I wrong for not wanting to tell him everything about my children and their lives and conversations that we have between us?

[Flowerchild]

What a person expects is not necessarily reasonable, darling!

I still have the same issue from time to time, and they are his children, too! He is such a blabbermouth that they have stopped telling him things themselves, because their siblings and grandmother soon knew all their business.

Now, he will often say he doesn’t want to know things, then later grumble about being kept in the dark!

My bottom line is that my adult children get to say whether or not what they tell me is confidential, nobody else. It’s their business, nobody elses’s. I think that’s perfectly reasonable. Nobody can argue me out of that!

After all, would he be happy if you blabbed his business to your extended family?

Flower x

[fizzylem]

Hey, I would say that if you have an equal, loving, respectful relationship then usually what happens is you do share most things with one another. You go places together yes and are open and honest with one another because there is never a problem around the corner if you do.

In these type of relatiosnhips we also respect the person’s need for space, we recognise that sometimes he might want to do something with his friends or family alone – this is fine hey and not a problem at all.

Sounds to me like he’s trying to control you by making you feel bad about spending time with your family without him and not sharing everything with him – this in not right – where is the respect and space here? x

[Author]

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