Arrrgh .. when they do that thing, and you can't wait to leave

[abcxyz]

Have to vent … a beautiful example of controlling behaviour and an attempt to ruin bonfire display and make me look like it’s my fault … all set to go, I got everything ready for the 3 kids, while he sat on the sofa, mentioned to him that I’d got his gloves ready. He said “I’m not going to come”. I said “ok” .. .kids immediately on alert and asking why he’s not coming .. his reason .. he “doesn’t want another one of mum’s explosions” (I haven’t had one!). Various “you lot go, i’ll follow in a bit – which of you kids wants to come with me? you? you? .. we’ll stand away from mummy’s friends” … how totally screwed in the head do you have to be? Kids totally confused by the whole thing, too late to buy any flashing stuff that I had promised them, and husband calling the shots. He came – but all on his terms. Roll on escape – you can’t come a day too soon

[Healthyarchive]

This is so sick & twisted, pure gas lighting and mind games. When you are out of all this you have clear thoughts, feel calm and focused. There are none of these worrying emotions or dilemmas any more. X

[abcxyz]

I can NOT wait .. thank heavens for sanity, and lovely normal people outside of these 4 walls xx

[Robin]

Wow – that’s terrible. Mine said to me (in front of son), ‘oh, I’m so tired. I think it must be because I’m thinking for two people’. And he’s been mocking me, by faking my voice and saying something silly like ‘oh, he’s put sellotape on my head. I going to call my solicitor’. I’ve never disliked him as much as I do right now. But I’m grateful, all these little things keep me focused and knowing that I’m doing the right thing in starting to plan my way out; that and my son telling me that he’s the only one in the house that cares about me – ouch. Can’t let him see anymore of this.

[abcxyz]

Agree …. feel like each incident is another nail in the coffin. Can’t wait to be free and not have to smile away his moods to the kids. Problem is the more I read the more aware I am that nearly everything he does is manipulative. … stay strong and keep planning xx

[EeyoreNoMore]

That sounds pretty much identical to an example of their behaviour given in Lundy Bancroft’s book. The more you read the more textbook their behaviour is – it’s so weird that they all act the same. Trying to sabotage special occasions is standard unfortunately.

[Confused123]

hey hun

hang in there, your post reminded me of my ex, when it used to be fireworks it was likekids get ready, ythen when we ready it was like leet me just drink first and get plastered then ill drive, who wants to sit in car with a drunk person and deal witht their tratnrums,, but if u say anything which u do anyway so kids sstill get to go out with sober dad, it turns into a massive argument how dare u say i cant drink

[Author]

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