Asked for help. Got Social servicesxinvestigating

[PaleBlueStar]

Rang my Gp on (detail removed by Moderator).(detail removed by Moderator) I’m locked down with my abuser and kids. I’m exhausted. I needed help.

My GP referred me to Mental health crisis team. They did a telephone assessment. I shared that I drink more In my lonely evenings and to avoid being abused hit myself.

They told me they were raising a safeguarding issue with SS.

(detail removed by Moderator) had a MH assessment. I am already pre judged as an alcoholic. They say they can’t help me as I drink, am in a DA situation and won’t criminalise my husband by reporting him as I have to live with him still!

So no help from GP or MHS. Same day SS ring. They refer me for assessment. (detail removed by Moderator) they are in my house for (detail removed by Moderator) assessing me and kids. They even ask my STBX if I drink too much. What power for him.

They tell me they need to return.

(detail removed by Moderator)

I am not an alcoholic. I was not even prescribed antibiotics depressants ‘because of my drinking’. I run (detail removed by Moderator) companies. Earn a (detail removed by Moderator) figure salary. Have survived cancer yet am treated like this.

Dirt.

Judged.

An alcoholic that is a danger to her teenagers.

What a joke the system is.

[KIP.]

Hi, you’re now in their system so my advice is to play their game and try to make a safe exit plan away from your abuser. Contact your local women’s aid for support. There is new legislation to remove abusers from the home so keep a secret journal and any evidence you can. Women’s aid can further advise you and there’s a national domestic abuse helpline. Some orders remove a perpetrator for 28 days which would give you some breathing space, Your abuser is destroying your mental health and it sounds like you are trauma bonded to him. Please seek out some counselling from someone trained in domestic abuse. It might help you understand why you stay. Why you cannot break that bond. Alcohol may temporarily help with the symptoms of domestic abuse but it won’t treat the cause which is abuse. These organisations can be your best friend if they get it right. Getting women’s aid on board may be a good idea to explain domestic abuse to those who don’t understand and Can help get you out of a dangerous situation when you don’t have the strength yourself. The alcoholic label is moving the spotlight from his behaviour to yours. Move it back x

[Lisa]

Hi PaleBlueStar,

I am so sorry to hear you were not supported when you reached out for support. As KIP has already suggested, are you in contact with your local domestic abuse service? They can offer ongoing emotional and practical support and hopefully link with social services and any other agencies to support you with the abuse you are experiencing. You can find your local service here.

You could also chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (weekdays 10am – 4pm and 10am – 12pm weekends). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here.

The Samaritans are also always available if talking things through helps- Samaritans

Please do keep posting when you are able to, there is support here for you from others who understand.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[PaleBlueStar]

I don’t want social services involved. They are an absolute joke in my opinion.

I did reach out locally and had an IDVA in contact but unless you do what they say they are not interested.

I can’t leave my home or my husband won’t agree to me selling it and I will be stuck with having to pay for it.

I am not going to do anything that makes my life any harder that it is.

(detail removed by Moderator) All the services link. So I ring my GP and that ends up with SS in my life. Nothing is confidential. I do not trust anybody.

[Hetty]

It sounds really horrendous to feel like you’re reaching out for help but not being listened to. When services link it’s because they are worried about you and are trying to help, even if it doesn’t feel that way to you. Im guessing from your post you wanted meds but they won’t prescribe currently??? I wonder if there’s a way you can agree some sort of treatment plan with the gp if that’s what you feel you need. I know it can seem like they hold the power, and let’s face it, in many ways they do when it comes to safeguarding, but do you think there is a way to work with these people to your benefit?
Not sure if this is helpful but just wanted to reach out as feeling unheard and unsupported is the last thing you need x

[Watersprite]

Hi there sorry to hear you are going through this. Would it be worth contacting a solicitor to see exactly what happens when you leave a home. I left mine and it’s been tough I won’t lie but eventually legal processes work through and although I will not have much I have safety freedom my children. Social services are in because there are safeguarding concerns for you and your children. It’s difficult – I’ve been there try and be as open as possible because what seems a threat can become an enormous source of help and getting you free. Take care x

[Author]

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