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Ha anyone for any experience with asking their husband to leave? I said I wanted to separate last year and we are still battling it out. I am on local housing list, have been looking at private rentals but am not employed currently (signed off by dr) and it’s proving to be really difficult and I’m losing hope and could feel myself slipping back into accepting this as life and settling to stay with someone who can and has be emotionally, verbally, financially and physically abusive. After seeing more advice from local support services went to see a solicitor who told me they could write him a letter giving him (time frame) to find elsewhere to live. I am so anxious about this next step. We have 2 teens at home and feel just awful that I’m the one instigating his leaving. I’ve asked him to leave and he says he can’t afford it and to pay for things here too or to furnish another place from scratch. He has no idea he’s going to be getting this letter. I feel like I’m left with no choice. I don’t want to leave the house I want to stay with the children and support them. He has a very well paid job so has the means but just says he can’t afford it. Any advice or support would be helpful.
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Hello Plant-mama,
Thank you for your post and for sharing this, it sounds like an exhausting and difficult situation.
The Rights of Women have a really useful document outlining your housing rights in cases of domestic abuse: https://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/guide-to-domestic-violence-housing-and-homelessness.pdf
This document details the duty of care that housing have towards you as well as your rights around staying in the home.
If things escalate and you need to leave in an emergency, there is always the option of refuge accommodation. For more information on refuge, you could contact the Live Chat or your local domestic abuse service to discuss this further and with support to move. You can find your local service here: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/womens-aid-directory/
You may be eligible for an injunction to have him removed from the property. DV Assist can advise you around occupation orders if this is a route you’d like to consider: https://www.dvassist.org.uk/how-we-can-help-you
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa -
Yes, I’m in the same boat in some ways. After years of abuse and promising to change I’ve finally make the decision to split. I didn’t ever think I would then one day…. We are in a different position as we could both afford to rent elsewhere. He is refusing to leave as I am of course going to move another man into his house 🤷♂️. I’ve spoken to a solicitor who has told me not to set foot out of the house and that she will write a letter telling him he has 21 days to leave but save as you I’m not sure if that will just add fuel to the fire. I’ve done counselling for a few years which has really helped me to understand my feelings and I know this is fear of rocking the boat and guilt because he Kris saying I’ve instigated it, I’m doing this to our son etc. Friends tell me just to do it but they don’t understand….
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