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It is becoming more and more frequent now… the abuse has shifted from him to my children being abusive towards me…. he is still and always will be vile and nasty… but more and more the kids are treating me in the most horrible way… the older one teen… I ask them to leave me alone but he follows me around if I try to walk away from them… he goes on and on in my face… I even have gone to the car and drove that’s the only time I can get away…he will be in my face really bad I Carnt keep running away.. but I Carnt get him to stop…the other one will not do a thing and will comply as long as I don’t ask them to do anything they don’t want to do…. he will refuse call me vile names and swear… the father will egnore all of this and let’s them carry one… I would rather die than live like this… I am loosing control of everything if I leave them in this situation I blame myself for the way they are for bringing them up in this environment.. I had the choice to leave long time ago…. but I stayed they didn’t have a choice…. now they don’t know how to behave only from him… if I leave them I have given up on them and I should have protected them… but if I leave and take them I’m never going to escape the abuse… I’ve left it too late..
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There was a post on here which likened your situation to the oxygen mask on an aircraft when they say to put your own mask on before you help others. With help from women’s aid if you left and found a safe place for your children. Away from abusive behaviour. They see their father getting away with it and think it’s normal. Putting you in a state of fear is illegal. I recorded my assault and my ex was arrested. Removed from the home. It’s a terrible thing when your children begin to abuse you. I had to stand up to my adult child and let him know he was only welcome in my life if he treated me with respect. I don’t see much of him now but I will not tolerate any more abuse. I hope he at least respects me now. I was so wrapped up in wanting my children to like me that I lost track of the fact that I was the parent. Not them. Ring the helpline meantime for support x
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Yes I guess.. he’s laid off a little and they’ve taken over.. it has confused me didn’t want to amit I was being abused by my children….I’ve been concentrating on them…but if I were to remove us from this environment… maybe things would change…yes thanks kip it is terrible when your child turn on you… I am so scared by the whole situation I am unable to carry on like this much longer.. having to deal with my child being in trouble at school watching him throw his future away… knowing it’s all my fault…busting a gut for him then having it all thrown back in my face..
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It’s not your fault. Please do not accept the guilt. If you carry the guilt then your abuser doesn’t. Yes, it’s so painful watching their fathers destroy their own child’s future and mental health without a second thought. But if you lead by example. Let them know you can walk away from abuse. At least my son knows I’ve gone total no contact with his father. That’s an option for him too when he realises what his father is. We just have to be there when they want to be respectful and non abusive.
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I Carnt help but blame myself… I kno he’s the abuser… but I blame myself for staying… if I had left… when I kept saying to myself… the longer I leave it the worse it gets… but I am still not paying attention.. and worse things keep happening… but I don’t leave…. I am so scared my child 1 of them will stay with him as he gets to do whatever he wants then… and my husband has already 1 adult child he has destroyed got thrown out of school… thief been in prison several times… nasty person hates/ has no respect for women… and my child is becoming like him..and keeps going to his dad. As he gets it easy… I cannot give up on my child… I don’t want to call his bluff and it all goes horribly wrong… you have done the right thing and set the right example for your son… I realise as mental I really become stronger and able to leave physically it’s becoming harder… kids.. lives etc… I feel I will explode soon…
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