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    • #6627
      SFHolding2
      Participant

      I had high hopes, but the run up to Xmas was awful. I have been dreading it as I have gotten slightly more into debt. Sharing a bed with my two children is taking its toll on me and I struggle to sleep for longer than a couple of hours.I had to call the police as my ex and his mother were verbally abusive in front of our youngest child. The solicitor lost the application made for legal aid way back in the summer and now I have to start all over to get a non mol order. I feel so let down and stressed I have been shouting at the kids finding any background noise completly intolerable. I finally went to the g.p earlier this week and have been put on antidepressants. I feel very tired which is a side effect, but a lot calmer. This year has been so tough, I really hope things start to get better soon.

    • #6632
      Daisy
      Participant

      what’s the result of the police having to be involved unity- any scope for them putting an order on him and / or her to prevent this again?
      Not sure how old your children are, and of course you can’t say, but my grandchildren have little themed airbeds and think it’s fun,
      Sleep is so important when you are on constant alert, I know
      X x x

    • #6644
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Hugs Unity

      I am so impressed that even in the darkest moments you are still going on. Going to the doctors, police, well done, do you have a support worker? They may be able to help with ideas on the sleeping situation with your children. I understand the not sleeping I have been like this for years, Im on high alert but thanks to the door braise the police have given me I have started to sleep better.

      Sadly for the time being you will not get rest bite from your abuser, so it zero tolerance.

    • #6693
      SFHolding2
      Participant

      Thanks for the reply. The police have logged it. They now know about the physical abuse earlier in the year. I never made a complaint at the time. I just needed to get out, and now I am in temporary accommodation. The police I could take it further, but I decided not to. I do not have to see my ex on a regular basis and I will make sure I will not be in a situation where I am alone with him and his mother again. I would do b**w up beds, but I seriously do not have the ground room. There is four of us in a tiny room. I am looking into renting, I am worried as I have been in debt (financial abuse mainly), although I overspend a bit on the children, I felt the deserved it after such a tough year. I am worried I will be refused by a landlord.

    • #6696
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Your local refuse might help, I told me about funds set up for deposits. Good luck xx

    • #6701
      Daisy
      Participant

      Unity, speak to your housing officer, tell them exactly what you told us,
      Perhaps they could transfer you to more suitable temporary accommodation, different vacancies come up all the time, All being together in the same room is safer but they may have some self contained units.
      They may also have contacts with landlords in the private sector, and you can use “turn to us ” website or money advise or cab to check you are getting your full benefit entitlement and can ask for housing benefit to be paid straight to your landlord to safeguard your tenancy,
      Stay strong unity, this hard time wouldn’t be forever,
      X x x

    • #6755
      SFHolding2
      Participant

      Thanks, my housing officer knows the situation, there are just no vacancies. I bid on a house which I didn’t get, but when I spoke to my landlord (a charity used by local authority), they said they knew who had been offered it. On the off chance I asked if they had a bigger house and the said yes it was a three bed, but the landlord who I trust told me not to take it as its got damp throughout. I feel like my hands are tied. I don’t know how I ended up in such a state. I am living in a numbness relying on antidepressants and sleeping tablets to keep going. The gravity of my life like this has hit me like a thunderbolt. It’s just a nightmare that I cannot see an end to. My ex still has a go at me for leaving, he accuses me of being rude and I have never been rude to him…I wouldn’t dare to, yet he is the rudest man I know. My children still see him behave like this towards me, I feel powerless still even though I left him in the summer. I feel the odds are stacked against me,I am not normally so downgraded, but this last month has really taken its toll on me. Thanks to you all for your advice, I appreciate friendly ears x x

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