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Yes it could have. Trauma affects the hormone system the heart and other functions and any stress while you’re pregnant is not good for the baby. I had a miscarriage. It’s amazing how many women on here have problems linked to the immune system. Fibromyalgia, thyroid problems etc etc. It’s quite scary the illnesses that have been linked to trauma x
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Yes it definitely does. There is a chapter about it in the book by Pat Craven ‘Living with the dominator’ stating the importance of good nutritious food, calm atmosphere, plenty of rest, regular medical checks during pregnancy. With an abuser in the house it is difficult to even provide yourself with those basic needs. So yes it will affect your pregnancy and immune system.
I hope you are both out now and safe and can cuddle and feed yourself and your baby with the best nutrition and care on earth
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It is possible that on top of the abusive impact you’ve also suffered anemia during your pregnancy – caused by iron deficiency as is the case of many pregnant women. Fainting is serious and should have been treated with urgency by your mid-wives, had your blood tested, offered you supplements and invited you in for more frequent medical checks and monitored your weight closely during your entire pregnancy.
I am glad you are out safe now. How come your child isn’t if you don’t mind me asking? -
because its dad has shared custody. he gaslighted me all the way to the courts. she has delay, but when she comes back from his she speaks as though she has been brainwashed. people think he is good because he went on a course and so has been fixed, but its like i said to probation… I dont think someone so… enbedded? can be fixed.
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I am just feeling empowered? I guess for ages I have thought delay was because he took her away from me, and because he abused me… but now. I realize that it began before she was even born! For years people have said I am a neglectful, bad mother… and my baby was delayed because I did not look after her properly, but they didnt realise it was actually down to him abusing me. The reason why she was small, delayed. And now, he is trying to bank on that.
Next time there is a review, I know exactly what I am going to say.
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I’m sorry about the shared custody, he sounds despicable, (detail removed by moderator).
You’re right, I don’t believe they will ever change their behaviour only adapt it to better suit their needs. At least they are held accountable but primarily his parental rights should have been removed as a consequence of his abusive behaviour.
What people are doing to you is pure victim blaming and isn’t right at all, of course you are an excellent mum, a fabulous one, instead of accusing you they should have helped you.
It’s good you are seeing through his stupid games, I hope others will catch on too.
Are you supported by Women’s Aid or a Domestic Abuse charity? And are you and your daughter well supported by your gp?
Sending you hugs 💕 -
Oh well done you!
Yes, absolutely this could be very likely on him.
Only you know what impact he had on you, but that you blamed yourself for at the time.
If you can’t eat properly, regularly, sleep properly, relax fully and have calmness in your home, this will all impact. If there is physical trauma to your body this can bring on early labour, or impact the developing foetus
As already said, missing medical checks can allow serious issues to go unnoticed that will affect baby and you.
So glad you are out, and that you can see it for everything that it is.
I hope you get to say everything that you need to at the review, and that they actually hear you and act. I would write it aswell as saying it,and hand it over at the end as evidence of your experiences, they can’t ignore it as easily then.
Warmest wishes
TS
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If anything, I think him getting what he wanted has made him worse. Okay, he is not abusing me… as openly as he was probably because he knows any message to suggest such a thing will go straight to the police but i feel his girlfriend, and my kids are at risk.
I mean, I did start questioning whether people aren’t helping me because I’m the abuser. I read a bit in the dominator book which says he goes to court and represents himself, and takes us all through court. and I was like…hang on thats what I did… but I didn’t apply to take him or or take his kids off him… so not so sure I am the guilty party here.
Thank you all for putting my mind at ease.
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