Back again!!

[Ariana]

So I’ve found myself back with him… how did this happen..I’ve left multiple times and keep ending up back together. I hate him and he makes me so unhappy but I always fall for his acts of niceness what is wrong with me..I consider myself to be smart and a rationale person ..I really think I need professional help and support to keep me away. Why do I seem to sugar coat the ugly bits in hindsight??? I yearn to be free but I’m so weak … its pathetic..now I’ve been avoiding family and friends and isolating myself because I know they hate him and I’m ashamed and embarrassed that ive taken him back. What do I do I feel so deflated x

[Ideservebetter]

Hiya, we as people are not as strong as we think or make out, I myself have been back and forth with my partner I no I’m weak and I dont no what to do about it. I think your a very strong person u need to write it all down and when hes nice read it back to your self and no a leopard never changes it spots and their kindness is all an act. Sorry to mumble on xx

[Escapee]

Hi A,

It’s not easy staying away. They say on average it takes 8 times to leave an abuser. There are so many feelings and emotions we have to fight against, not to mention our hearts and the mind games they have woven into the very core of us.

It’s so hard but if you’re ready for the out again, you need to take a deep breath and do it again. Each time gets a bit easier.

It’s so akin to drug addiction it’s scary. I recently had cause to research addiction and it took my breath away how similar the symptoms of withdrawal are to breaking free from an abusive relationship.

There’s not enough knowledgeable support out there for us or support a lot of us can afford. This forum seems to me the strongest, most compassionate and knowledgeable support there is for us at this time so keep reaching out and sharing to get the help and love you need.

[Ariana]

Thanks guys I’ve heard that ita common to back and forth all the time its exhausting… I seriously thought this was it I was away I was calm I was rested but then i just panicked and scurried back to the rabbit hole as it were. It’s been proven to me over and over again that he reverts back to the same behaviour so I just cant understand it.. it’s like I have 2 brains one that works with me and one that works against me. Thanks for listening xx

[Losingbattle]

I feel exactly the same. We finish and I promise myself that that’s it. But then I panic and boom were back together and in the same abusive mess. I’m unhappy, and have alot of hate towards him. I’m hoping this group can help me get the strength to do it for good. I hope u get the same strength too x

[KIP.]

Try writing a list of all the abusive episodes then a list of pros and cons for staying. A realistic list. He may have told you that you couldn’t afford this or that without him. That you couldn’t cope that you couldn’t get another man etc. All lies designed to keep you trapped. In reality we are everything without them and they are nothing without us. Onwards and upwards x

[Author]

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