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Hi, I haven’t been on in over 5 years! And in that time I added another baby to the mix… I managed to break away again in pregnancy and then had along time with just me and the kids. He is back in the kids life and making my life hard! Wont have the kids together, if I say something he doesnt like I get abuse, I literally cant do anything. I still feel trapped! He changes dates times of having the kids and I am
now on the silent/blocking treatment. HOW DO I STOP LETTING THIS AFFECT ME? Im so drained by it all I feel like taking my kids n running away -
Dear Shelly123,
I’m glad you’ve felt able to post, although I’m very sorry your ex is continuing to find ways to be abusive. Sadly this is often the case post separation when there is still some contact due to the children. If there is no legal child arrangement order in place then unfortunately it is quite common for a perpetrator to use the situation to continue to manipulate, cause stress and try to keep some control. We have to be careful on this public forum not to share details relating to court proceedings, but, if you don’t have anything in place it may be necessary to consider it. I acknowledge the process is daunting but it is the main route in which to get more control.
To find out more you could have a look on the Rights of Women and Child Law Advice websites. You could also read here about your options if you did decide to move away from your local area. Getting some good legal advice about your rights is essential.
A middle ground would be to reduce direct contact, for example change your number and have contact only via email or through a third party. This can help but still has some risk of the abuse continuing.
If you want to talk this through with someone you could use our Live Chat service or contact your local domestic abuse service. You have done incredibly well to break away more than once, one would hope this was enough, but in reality further actions are often needed. There is support for you along the way.
Keep Posting,
Lisa
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