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We went away at Christmas, have just come back but feel utterley depressed. What should have been a relaxing and fun break was fraught with tension and me being a referee between him and my son. He goads, winds him up to the point that my son then retaliates back by wanting to hit him. My son is just going through puberty so I am undecided whether this is a contributing factor or solely down to his dads behaviour. I try tell my son not to bite, to ignore him but it is so hard for him. I then get accused of taking sides but what the hell am I supposed to do. My instict is to protect my son but am made to feel this is disloyal to him.
At one time, my son was distraught with his dad winding him up, stormed off crying but his dad felt justified because he said that our son winds him up and finds that funny so why shouldnt he!
I look at the relationships of other families, with the dad partcipating in activities with their children but we have none of that. I make the effort to do things with him, playing in the sea, kayaking, messing around in the pool but it breaks ny heart that the dynamics of our family relationship are abnormal. Although I think at one time our son probably craved his dads attention, he actually doesnt want it now because he dislikes him so much.
I came home yesterday felling so down, I know Christmas doesnt help, you see people enjoying family time, getting into the spirit of the festivities and I crave this. I am dreading the New Year, I will go to bed early as we dont celebrate not that I think there is anything to celebrate. I am uncertain of my future which is making me anxious and depressed. -
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