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    • #124319
      Better-days
      Participant

      I haven’t posted on here for a long time but read how some of you are getting on I won’t go on but will give you a little what my life is like. I have a young son who is my life his happiness is everything to me. My partner is a bully. He had an affair which lasted (detail removed by Moderator) years which was the best (detail removed by Moderator) years of my life I lived like a single parent I made it very easy for him as it suited me. It’s over now and I’m trapped! Now he is trying to control me moans when I go Anywhere speaks to me like am s**t on his shoe. Demands sex says a don’t love him at least once a day and so on. If I was to leave I would have to go and give everything up as he has make it clear that he will take our son. So means I would probably have to take my son out of school and loose my job ect the thought doing this to my son is just too much. My partner is also very clever around my son he wouldn’t raise his voice or cause a big argument but will when he’s no here and when he is he will quietly manipulate me. If u was to raise my voice he would be like don’t shout in front of my son ect I have never felt so trapped I hate him he is poison and I know he will never change but also know I can’t leave u till my son is older I just can’t. Is Anyone else in a similar situation

    • #124327
      Eggshells
      Participant

      You can leave Better-days and I honestly believe it will be better for your son if you do. Whilst your son is still young, he is easy to control but as he grows older and starts to know his own mind the control will creep into his life too.

      Children of abusers are damaged. They learn a really bad lesson of how a relationship should be and they often go in to abusive relationships themselves, either as a victim or an abuser – how could they not if it’s all they’ve ever seen? They can’t know that it shouldn’t be like that.

      I’ve worked with children of all ages from 4 – 19 and I can honestly say that the younger the child is, the more resilient they seem to be to change.

      I think what I heard loudest in your message is that you don’t want to be in this relationship anymore. You don’t have to be. You will rebuild your life but it may take time so the sooner you leave and start on that new path, the better.

    • #124360
      Better-days
      Participant

      Thanks for response eggshells I understand everything that you are saying and I know one day I will leave but now is not the right time for me because I would have to give up everything but when the time is right I will leave. Thanks for replying. X

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