bad day

[Nova]

Feeling quite sick after I got a long text this morning from his grown up daughter…I’d left lots of gifts for her visit last year! & nothing no response so a few months later…now on the other side of the world, although I organised a trip to my home city…for her & family…nothing no contact to me or interest, even though I’ve been with her dad more than a decade.

Anyway…I was SO wound up, surrounded by all the Valentine rubbish and feeling like cr*p…I just couldn’t help myself, I text her back a little taste of my reality with her Dad…shes an adult into her 30’s so I thought well I’ve held onto this for so long, brave facing it.

Told her a glimpse, not the nitty gritty details, obviously, of my unhappy times, excluded and inspite of all my loving efforts treated like a nobody.
I re enforced some of the facts, and of his dysfunctional past.

Now some hours later I’m quite terrified as I’ve managed to speak out to one of his kids, revealing details or maybe they know more than me? I was never included into their conversations, as I said like a nobody. I did ask her why she didn’t make more effort with my son, why was it always us who had to make the effort?
I don’t like confrontation &/or upsetting anyone…except, now I been through this its changing me.
Torn though I know, I’m innocent!

So horrible..hes chasing me…I now wonder if it was him texting me?
though it looked like an international number…
typical on valentines day like a proper dig.

cx

[Anonymous]

Hi cuppa,

Sorry you have had such a bad day. We all go through those stages where we lash out and then regret it, it’s done now and like you say she may well be aware of exactly what her dad is like. Maybe that is why you have heard nothing. It sounds like you are worried about the backlash from him if he finds out what you have said? If so be careful, I am not sure of your circumstances but it seems that he is not a pleasant person from what you have wrote. There is always the possibility the daughter may say nothing to him. xx

[White Rose]

Hi Cuppa
I’m glad you shared some of it with her. You’ve been honest what she does with the information is up to her. Don’t worry if it gets back to him it will do him good to know you’re strong enough to share now.
When I decided to leave I told my eldest step child who was also about this age at that time -her reply was “what took you so long” and then she told me of her life and her mum’s life (his first wife) with him.
Don’t get caught up in any text conversations if you get retaliation and nastiness. You’ve said what you needed to now it’s possibly time for no contact?
Keep safe x

[Nova]

Thanks Imagine & White Rose..for your reassurance and understanding of the reality of ending it!

Her text was out of the blue and I felt he was most probably behind it…trying to hoover me back in, as she sent lots of photos of them all…including him 🙁

My response was clear and (hopefully sounded strong) don’t mess, this is what he is like and I have sucked all that up, now a small reality check with my side of it all.

What I find v tough is this double sided him. The liar.
He knows to keep up appearances with his kids, and family friends as the meetup is short and its in his interest to keep up the facade.

In a row,he’d say how he got on with everybody (joke) and I’d have to say…yes but they don’t LIvE with you!

That’s the point, the REAL him, I wanted her to know that side, she probably does to some extent…she’s not a silly …maybe in denial…however, she was involved in that heartbreak after he left them all for another woman…not me I hasten to add…way before my time.

Such an decietful destructive v strange person.

Thanks again…what’s done is done I’ m relieved I said it, the truth is the truth, like it or not!

Cx

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