Viewing 3 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • #118412
      Bettertimesahead
      Participant

      My husband moved out under pretty traumatic circumstances (detail removed by moderator). It’s all been tough but I’ve had good support. Although I know it was emotional and sexual abuse it is still hard to accept. I have gone completely non contact and have a non molestation and occupation order in place. That was hard especially when he plays victim on social media or broke bail by text. Recently I have had a few weeks of no drama from him. .Decree nisi agreed. Now in limbo as he is not engaging at all re finances.My solicitor has said do nothing at mo, (detail removed by moderator). Family illness has become a priority and I thought I.could just ignore it for a bit. But i have started having really horrid dreams. Part real events. mixed up with other stuff. Also got really jumpy at home again. My head is all over the place. I dont miss him but in some ways I do. I have none to reminisce about things kids did when they were small etc. My children are adults and have no contact with him, dont miss him and are a fab support to me so why cant I do same

    • #118415
      KIP.
      Participant

      It’s going to take time to grieve for this relationship. For the hope and dreams you once had. You probably have trauma that also needs dealt with. Just be kind to yourself. If it’s been a long relationship there’s lots of unpicking to do from the damage he has caused mentally. I felt exactly like you do. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions and hidden trauma that will surface now your brain feels it’s safe to deal with it. When we are in survivor mode the trauma is pushed to the back by the fight or flight part of the brain that’s trying to keep us safe. It’s hard to do nothing because we have been programmed to be on high alert trying to predict his next move but really doing nothing is an option and look at what you want to prioritise. I’d get some good counselling in place to help you cope over the next while x

    • #118418
      Bettertimesahead
      Participant

      Thanks Kip. I have a keyworker with a local charity, shes mentioned counselling, I’ll ask in new year

    • #118422
      KIP.
      Participant

      Healing from Hidden Abuse is a good book, as is Living with the Dominator x

Viewing 3 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ Jobs

EXIT SITE

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account