Bad Dreams

[phantasmagorical]

Now and then I have these dreams about him but last night was particularly bad. I had trouble falling asleep, then when I finally was asleep he was all I dreamt about, laughing in my face and with another woman.

It seems stupid because it was only a dream but it brings a lot up for me. It’s just over (detail removed by Moderator) now since he left me the way he did and I feel quite strange about it.

Having him on my mind in such a vivid way has left me feeling icky all day. I remembered how quickly he seemed to replace me and I felt like crying. I hate feeling so weighed down by thoughts like this.

[SunshineRainflower]

Hi Phantasmagorical,

I can relate to what you wrote with bad dreams hearing another woman’s laughter. I heard a woman laughing down the phone in this terrible sexual way that made my stomach lurch when I spoke to him at work once. At the time I wrote it off as the receptionist but I have sinced pieced together a big picture of multiple cheating, I think he was having sex with her in his car. It haunted me for a long time and does still bother me although not quite as badly.

I created a painting of the scene I imagined of this woman and him and wrote down my thoughts about it and it helped a lot. I think having healthy outlets really help processing this stuff like writing it in a journal, drawing or painting it (art therapy), writing it into a poem or song. That and counselling and talking to others who have experienced it too.

I know how hard it is, I have him on my mind a lot too. It seems to improve if I have some positive things going on in my life that I can concentrate on.

Another good option is giving the samaritans a ring and telling them all about it. You went through a trauma and it will take time. He may have replaced you quickly but unlike you he is incapable of love and will just keep repeating the same abuse cycles with others. But you will heal and be able to find someone truly worthy of your love in the future.

[Author]

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