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I needed to get this off my chest and see if anyone else has experienced similar?
After reporting the abuse in (detail removed by moderator), and the Police actually took action, I had some good officers, some not so good, but months down the line I have experienced one officer who has made me so angry and frustrated as to why there are Police in this job and what actual training are they getting on Domestic Abuse??
This officer suggested that it was a coincidence that my ex had followed me to my local shop. He told me to ‘get over it’ because my ex ‘doesn’t care about you’ and he’s not following me, he’s not bothered about me apparantley. I raised a complaint. To then get a call from a sergeant who passively aggressively, calmly told me that he would not apologise for his officers behaviour because he didn’t witness it, that he knows his officer is competent and some officers just ‘have different ways of talking to people’. I have worked long enough in (detail removed by moderator) to understand how damaging these words are to someone who has been through DA. He told me ‘sorry you feel that way’..not SORRY ABOUT MY OFFICER! I’m actually in shock about the behaviour and I feel patronised and disgusted by their behaviour. I want to know who is providing their training because it really isn’t good enough! I’m in the process of getting an IDVA and hopefully making a formal complaint to the IOPC! I am sick of being taken for a mug and a pushover by Police! -
I really didn’t want or expect this topic to be my first post. I didn’t register here for this. But this at the moment is what’s happening and what is affecting me the most 🙁
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Hi Sunflower,
I’m so sorry that you experienced this from the police.
It’s been a few years since I had contact with the police over my ex, but I remember at the time I came up against similar – with the police minimising what my ex was putting me through.
In terms of complaints, I am getting better at doing that myself : challenging rather than just scuttling away hurt. I would say, why not? Sending you support x
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Ive just had it from a male solicitor, tried to charge me for a free consultation months and months ago! I complained. They dropped it PDQ. Definitely complain. Its a mans world out there and this sort of male aggression particularly in domestic abuse has got to be stopped. I’m thinking that’s why its still happening. I ran it by someone I know high up in social services and she encounters it all the time with domestic abuse situations. It is so depressing. Only way is to show these types of people up, bring it into the open, it is illegal. x
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Write to Womans Hour R4 – they’ve been covering domestic abuse, I think its time they started talking about the sexism that exists in dealing with perpetrators, and within the legal system, write to the Commissioner herself, bet she’d be interested in it. I’m not generally a ranter but am so shocked that this is still happening in 2020. Its the silence that keeps it going, like all these things, like domestic abuse itself. Sorry, hope that helps. Failing that, get the officer round when lockdown is over, make him a cup of tea and put laxatives in it. Just a thought. x
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