This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  HopeLoveHappiness 2 weeks, 3 days ago.

  • Author
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  • #113597
     Notyourbarbiegirl 
    Participant

    Every morning I struggle so much, I miss my husband so much and it’s been nearly (detail removed by moderator) since I asked him to leave.

    How can I miss someone so much after everything he put me through? Nobody understands, they all keep saying he was so bad to you, why do you miss him? You shouldn’t miss him, don’t think about him, focus on all the bad stuff.

    But sometimes I just want him back and I know I can’t have that, maybe he will change? do they change? I’m so confused today and feel so hopeless and lost.

     

     

  • #113599
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Hi there. It’s okay to feel such confusion after the relationship ends. What you may miss is the Way the relationship felt ‘normal’. As human beings we crave what is normal to us even if that’s dysfunctional abuse. It’s like breaking a drug habit, the early stages are the worse but if you can keep going you will realise that returning to him may give you temporary relief but in the long term is dangerous and destroying you. These men never change. Once an abuser always an abuser. That’s just who he is. You may also miss the nice him. The good times of which I’m sure there were many or we wouldn’t have stayed. Abusers are good at hooking us in and making sure our world revolves around them, leaving us with a void that makes the separation seem worse. Are you getting support from women’s aid? It helps to speak to someone who understands. You won’t always feel this Way. Have you read Living with the Dominator or Healing from Hidden Abuse is also a good book. Recovery is a rollercoaster ride but it gets much easier with time and zero contact x try to build a support network around you x supportive people who understand x google trauma bonding, cognitive dissonance. For me knowledge is power. KIP x you might also want to look at narcissistic abuse x

  • #113601
     HopeLoveHappiness 
    Participant

    Good Morning💗.

    It is completely normal to feel what you are feeling, being with someone who is abusive is hard, they make you feel like you need them, when infact its them who need you. People who have never been through what we’ve been through will not understand. Focus on yourself💗

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