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My baby was always so happy and content only cried for food/sleep, now she is so unsettled, crying 80% of the time, I can’t make her happy everything I do is wrong & I haven’t been able to get food in her for weeks! I’m super stressed out but trying to be calm & happy around her but I’m utterly exhausted and failing as a parent. She must sense my frustration and upset so it’s entirely my fault why she is like this. I am depressed and stressed at the moment with everything with my abusive ex, being a single parent, studying a full time college course…I’m shattered. I feel like a terrible person and the worst mother.
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Hello, I just wanted to offer some support, your not a bad mum at all and it sounds like you are doing so well juggling everything. It’s bound to be such a stressful time. Please be kind to yourself. I too am new to being a single mum and it’s a big adjustment but I know we are better off in the long run and so will they. Kids are very resilient and you are doing your best. X
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Hi Flowerbubble,
I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling at the moment. Do you have any support in place? I’m just thinking you might benefit from speaking with your local domestic abuse service as they can sometimes offer parenting support, or give you some emotional and practical support with regards to your abusive ex which in tern will help with your baby.
Please keep reaching out for help; even if it’s just for some emotional support- don’t try and deal with everything by yourself.
Keep posting to let us know how you’re getting on,
Lisa
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When we are feeling low and stressed we tend to overthink and beat ourselves up. It’s important to focus on positives and remind yourself of all the things you are doing on a daily basis to care for your baby and yourself. It’s super hard managing on your own but it does get easier as they get older. When I left my first husband my child was 2 and it was so hard. Some days I literally wanted to tear my hair out and couldn’t wait for bedtime. You can do this.
Have you spoken with your health visitor? Perhaps some outreach support could be arranged to help you through this difficult patch. It’s so hard when children are very young. No parent is perfect. We can only do the best we can. I certainly didn’t want my child to have the start that he had but I gave him my all – even when that wasn’t very much because I felt depleted emotionally and physically. You’ve already got your baby out of an abusive situation. Be proud, don’t berate yourself ❤️
Perhaps speak with college about any extensions you might need -
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Iv taken her a few times this past couple of months and they all say not to worry, it’s very frustrating. She seems a little happier today and sleeping a lot as she didn’t sleep very well last night so managing to get on top of some tidying and coursework. I feel at the moment I’m walking right on the edge and it’ll take one little thing to push me over and have a complete meltdown, I was doing “ok” for a while I felt happier and stronger but now I feel very much the opposite and feel a failure in everything I do! I contacted victim support like you said KIP and they just told me to contact IDAS whom Iv already seen before however I didn’t find them much help in terms of emotional support but maybe that’s partly my fault for struggling to open up and feeling uncomfortable, but I have text them and told them I’m struggling with my mental health and we’ve arranged a visit. I also took the step last night to email my tutor to let her in on how I’m feeling and struggling and she rang me up straight away and we had a long chat and she made me feel a bit better about myself and told me that I was actually doing great even though I don’t always feel it!
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You’re the best mum your little baby could ever ask for FlowerBubble.
All babies go through crying periods perhaps she is getting her teeth already? That’s a tough time.
My advice is to get a book about the first year of your child, to guide you, you will see her development is right on track, unrest and crying periods included.
Normally there is pediatric helpline you can call, ask your gp about it.
Also grab the offer to go see your local Women’s Aid, tailored fitted parental advice for abused women sounds priceless. Take the support.
There is another source of support, in the form of a website called Babycenter, I loved reading it and educated me about babies a great deal. Subscribe to their newsletter and you’ll get age appropriate weekly updates.You’re a fantastic mum! Babies do cry, it’s normal and it’s also very normal to feel tired and irritated sometimes with them, I certainly was, and the best advice I got is to take a 5 min break outside alone to calm down (alternatively just close the door and change room) and recharge whenever it gets too much.
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