Been diagnosed with the big C now I’m stuck

[Climbing out of hell]

What happens when you just get diagnosed with the big C? Feeling real stuck now 😪, I had planned on ringing women’s aid to get helo/advice but then I get the news I have C and I know treatment will be needed so I obviously can’t move now as I’ll have to go thru the rigmarole of changing doctors and hospitals and them having to wait for my medical notes which will delay treatment and delay is not something that’s possible.

So am I now stuck, hating my situation, trying to play ‘be nice’, I’m so confused right now 😐

[Anonymous]

Honey , is there anyone you can stay with close by or maybe get in touch with the council and register as homeless I know it’s not a nice thing to have to do , I had to it when a non blood relative was trying to abuse me a few years ago , I’m not sure if you can still keep appointments made for you if you move it’s something you’ll have to discuss with your doctor I’m out of my situations , I’d like to move for different reasons and the only reason I’m staying is because my dr’s want to keep an eye on me because I’m high risk for cancer and it’s the first tlme in my life I’ve ever been scared for my health so I can’t even begin to imagine the hell you must be going though but just to clarify 1 your being abused your on an abuse forum so you clearly are , and 2 your extremely ill that’s it, no confusion your health your wellbeing you are the main priority now no one else just you 💗🙏🏼💗

[ladiesand gentlemen]

Exactly what Auriel said
You are priority number ONE, ask your GP,consultant,friends,relatives,the Citizens Advice are amazing for this kind of thing.
Maybe your local women’s advice centre could help ?
Try Cancer Research UK or Macmillan (they both have helplines)
ANYTHING that’s going to help YOU, do whatever it takes to get better, stay strong(you are strong already)we ALL are.
He will make this all about him(as they do)PLEASE fight this horrible monster(C) you CAN do this.
Take it easy on yourself
Best wishes, love and a virtual hug x*x

[KIP.]

Hello, I’m sorry to hear of your diagnosis and I wish you a strong and quick recovery. Sadly abusers behaviour gets worse when they sense we are vulnerable so please keep your phone fully charged and on you at all times. Please talk to women’s aid or ring the national domestic abuse helpline. You may well be able to have him removed from the property which would give you time and space for yourself x

[Lisa]

Hi Climbing out of hell,

I’m very sorry to hear about your situation. Please don’t feel that engaging in any kind of help regarding the abuse you face isn’t possible. Understandably, being diagnosed with this illness makes reaching out feel more difficult as you have other priorities, but as the other women here have expressed, do keep focused on getting the help you were planning for yourself. Do contact your local domestic abuse service and explain all that is happening for you. An outreach worker should be able to act as an advocate as needed, to ensure you do not feel trapped with your abusive partner. Ultimately, it will be up to you to decide what happens but it’s important you have options to choose from.
Macmillan may be a support service you have been told about, but they may help you feel less isolated in all this. Their advisers can offer a listening ear and are ready to talk about whatever matters to you. They can also provide expert cancer information to help you find your best way through.
You could also try calling Supportline who offer confidential emotional support to reach people before they get to “crisis” point. They offer support by telephone, email and post. They work with callers to develop healthy, positive coping strategies, an inner feeling of strength and increased self-esteem to encourage healing, recovery and moving forward with life. They also keep details of counsellors, agencies and support groups throughout the UK. They cover a wide range of issues, including domestic abuse. They can also refer locally. You can contact them on 01708 765200, or visit their website at http://www.supportline.org.uk.
I hope this helps. Please do keep posting to let us know how you get on.
Take good care,

Lisa

[iliketea]

I’m so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I’m not sure if you know but everyone has a right in the UK to have treatment wherever they want, you can choose to have it in two places even. SO, what I mean is, don’t let this stop you, you have a diagnosis, it is very easy and straightforward to move treatment to somewhere else. I know people who have done this. BUT I understand, you probably want to stay where you are and in the safety of your own home and familiar places. SO, can he leave? Can you get in touch with your local DA support agency or Women’s Aid nearby (they aren’t everywhere Women’s Aid, but there will be some sort of DA support with a different name), and start the process for an Occupation and Non-Molestation Order, you then get to stay in your home. YOU are the priority now, only you. I also echo that when we are vulnerable the abuse can really go up, again, I have experience of seeing that happening to someone else, its not nice, you cannot rely on them being there for you in truly terrible circumstances. Dig deep, you’re going to be able to, you won’t regret it. You need energy for your diagnosis and to heal. He does not need to be draining you anymore. Keep posting and checking in, and asking, someone will always reply, someone will always have an answer. Don’t lose hope. You can still be free, you are not stuck, at all. Promise. Its the start of a new chapter. xx

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