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It has been on the cards for us to move for a while and although things haven’t been right for a long time it’s only recently I’ve joined here and realised how abusive he is. I’m panicking about going ahead with it. I feel like I’m being forced into it. The problem is I don’t feel ready to leave yet because I’m still so badly trauma bonded. But he wants to move ASAP!
I’m also worried because I feel like it’s where he’s noticed a change in me lately so is now going full steam ahead a bit more with moving whereas before it was always on the back burner a bit.
What am I going to do? x -
Do not move with him, it’s designed to trap you further. Try to find a way to stay behind. Say you need some time to adjust and you will follow at a later date. Put some distance between you. It’s a classic way to isolate you further. Use this as a turning point x
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Thanks @KIP, I’m going to have to try my hardest over the next few months before it happens to break free of the trauma bond as much as I can. Not sure what my plan is yet but it’s the only way to try and untie myself from all these feelings towards him xx
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We moved away. Far from my support network. It made it so much harder for me. I really think I would have left him a lot sooner if I’d not agreed to move.
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Thanks @beachhut, it’s so easy to think things will improve because the circumstances have changed. Especially as not moving is apparently a huge source of his misery (and partly my fault we still havent 🙄). I can see now I’ve been stalling it for so long because I knew something wasnt right. I’m just so badly trauma bonded to him I’m trying to find a way to stop all the worrying about how he will cope or what he will do etc.
So sorry to hear you’re having to stay at friends and havent got a place of your own. You deserve that and I hope it happens soon xx
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