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Hi ladies (detail removed by moderator) Ive had trouble getting Maintenance for my kids off my Ex Partner either reciving nothing at all or very little money .Couple months back I finally went through Child Maintenance they told him to set a direct debit up and told him the amount he has to pay me each month .First payment was last month he just payed me just over half what he should of payed me.My Ex rang CM said due to being Emergency texted he couldn’t pay me in full that was over a month ago .He is due to pay me again soon .Im hoping he’ll pay me what’s owed from last month and June’s payment .Im thinking if he does not pay me the correct amount due Im thinking come next payment to go pay collect .Where CM will take it out of his account the amount he owes plus he will have to pay an extra 20 per cent to CM for them to take money out of his account plus I’ll lose a small percentage each month as well . (detail removed by moderator) Ive given him time chances but I feel he is still messing me about I feel he is still controlling me and he’ll know this will upset me .I have gone no contact since end last year .He has moved on and his new partner is already expecting a baby due next few months .So his main concern is his new family as he has cut him self off from our kids .If we went collect pay he probably be livid but I just feel I need to take back control as I can’t rely on him
He is not consistent.Am i being fair -
As CM told me when I first applied, I was doing the right thing. There’s a generation of deadbeat dads who abandon their kids financially, affecting their daily lives and their future prospects.
Just because he has a new family unit, it doesn’t mean his children with you cease to have needs.
He’s had every chance to do things the right way. I imagine that being an abuser, he would continue to pay the minimum anyway, unless forced.
Him paying half what’s expected may well be more about him not wanting to take orders rather than him not having the money. Don’t believe his sob story necessarily. He might be trying to get away with it, knowing you are compassionate. Also, these abusers like to feel they come out on top and win in each situation: him paying less than asked might give him that feeling of winning and pulling the wool over others’ eyes. They aren’t normal. They don’t feel a sense of pride in doing what’s acceptable or responsible. All they care about is benefitting themselves.
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Good on you, Bubblegum.
I think I may have to do the same thing, as he is challenging CM despite concrete evidence.
We must never forget who they really are: they get a feeling of being high not from doing the right thing but by doing the wrong thing- that is, by cheating others who they mistakenly see as gullible and trusting.
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I am on the collection from the CM it was a nightmare. Despite him being in arrears on the last system they still told me they had to give him a chance “several in fact” where I had to report I hadn’t received a payment.
They did the chasing for the missed payments for me.
I also made sure that he did not have my bank account details. There are other ways of setting collecting payments rather than bank accounts. The CM website explains it, even if the people the other end don’t know much about it.Currently even though I use them to collect the money and they could do direct to his employers (they say they don’t know who his employer are, I provided them with the details…) I keep getting letters to tell me they can’t collect from him and not to rely on the money.
Its a joke.
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