Bitter

[backtome]

Does anyone else feel like a complete burden on their family? and like the black sheep. I’m the only one who’s constantly skint even though I work full time. My sister’s future husband is a millionaire and she doesn’t have to work even though she has no children and my brother has an amazingly good job. I also feel like I contact them too much (esp. my mum) – like with texting etc, because I was used to being in constant contact with my ex when we were together now I keep texting my family because I’m just so used to having constant contact. I’m feeling really low and bitter about everything atm, everyone else’s lives seem to be rosy and mine is just s**t and has no prospects of getting better. I own my house and can’t even afford to get essential maintenance done let alone do anything aesthetic. That’s stopping me from inviting my daughter’s friends over for play dates. I’m in such a dark place right now I’m finding it so difficult to be happy for people for their fortunes, which isn’t like me at all. I also feel like my depression isn’t validated at all, last time I saw the doctor he didn’t offer any solutions at all so I just reduced my medication myself and have continued trying to convince myself that I don’t actually have depression at all and that I’m just tired. Sorry, just ranting as feeling sorry for myself and can’t get away from this bitterness in myself. x

[Ayanna]

Have you thought of crowdfunding to improve your home?
If you can do some DIY you do not need much money.

Are you depressed or are you reacting to the traumatising situations you have experienced and the lack of support?

When we come out of an abusive relationship most of us are skint for a while.
I spent too much and I ate too much and as a result acquired debts.
I am in control now, but that took me a few years.
I was a mess and I am still recovering from the intense trauma.
My family has not been as supportive as they could have been.

Instead of texting your family post here. You may get more emotional support here.

[itmustbemesurely]

I feel like that too, my husband went bankrupt and has left me to sort out the dreadful mess whilst he love bombs his new very young girlfriend, festivals, holidays abroad, weekends away, it sticks in my throat that he made my life a living hell for years with his vile behaviour and I am so bl***dy angry I don’t know how to get over it…..I am bitter that my life is like this because of him, but have to keep a brave face on..if anyone else says to me to stay strong I think I will scream!! My counsellor said that he thought I had PTSD given the emotional bullying and some days are am a shaking wreck, but I have to build my life back – so I get it, message me anytime you want @backtome

I have to call or text my friends if I want to rant, being angry with him isn’t allowed – I have to get over it and move on, it’s my mess now and he is enjoying his life….a real n********t

[Sad sunflower]

Hello @backtome I feel like that as well. My sister, who is (Detail removed by Moderator) years younger than me, has the perfect relationship, while I am still struggling with the effects of the abuse. I barely talk with my parents about it, I feel like they don’t understand.

@ayanna is right, you can get more emotional support here. Post anytime you need to vent and we all be here for you.

Big hug.

[maddog]

Oh Backtome, you are so not alone! I have spent many decades feeling that everyone, anyone, anything must have a better life than me. From childhood, I knew I was the embodiment of evil and worthlessness. Unlovable to the hilt. Not even worth hating.

It is called depression. If you are in that situation when you are not knowing how to take your medication (sorry for potential intrusion and poor choice of words), please go back to your gp and keep going back. I find that depression grabs me and it’s a very physical thing. I feel dragged towards the ground.

Please speak to someone in real life. If you need an emergency psych. appt, you can get one through WA or Victim Support and other places.

Please don’t go through this alone and keep posting here!

[backtome]

Thanks everyone, I’m not feeling quite so bleak today. It’s so nice to be able to come and here get support and not feel judged. x

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