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Today has been really lonely and weird. I feel like I’m only allowed to bring things up a certain number of times before I start to burden and annoy people. My mum is under a lot of her own stress at the moment so I just stayed in my room most of the day. I feel really caged in and yet I feel anxious and vulnerable when I do go outside.
I’m worried that I won’t be strong enough to maintain no contact with my ex. As it stands right now, I do not have any sense of control with communication as he is ignoring me. Yet I’m told this is on the advice of his psychologist (and I also hear he’s back at uni, this is strange to me for some reason, how can he focus?). So I’m just left dangling and I don’t know what to do if/when he does contact me again. I’m scared I’m going to try and bargain with him even though he’s proved himself to be a toxic person and has worn me down mentally and emotionally. He’s cut me off knowing I have limited access to my friends due to my location, and now I have no job because I quit it to be with him. Although I don’t know if I could work right now with how I’m feeling. A colleague has spoken to my old manager about the possibility of taking me back, but I feel so completely humiliated as my team and a few of the managers knew all about my plans. And I’ve already had a couple of emotional meltdowns at work, I just feel so embarrassed.
It’s so stupid and pathetic, but I had been working on this piece of embroidery for what I thought would mine and my ex’s flat. I’ve been working on it a lot today; I designed pictures of things he likes, and I want to send it to him but this is probably a bad idea and I’m not thinking straight.
I shouldn’t be thinking like this and missing him, or the idea of him. My emotions keep pinging back to this and it really hurts even in my body, like recently I’ve been getting these sharp pains in my chest, I’m not sure if it’s related.
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Hi there, try to get some councelling. Ring the helpline number on here to talk or the samaratains are good listeners. If it makes you feel better just tell your work that you ended things with him. I had chest pains, back pains, headaches. Make sure you are eating properly and drink lots of water. What he did was appalling. It’s better to find out now than when you had moved your life X you will get better, it just takes time. Try writing him a letter but don’t send it. Write it then watch it burn.
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Hi there, Don’t contact him or send the embroidery, it’s so important. Its called no contact. When you do this you gain personal power & strength, when you break it you give it away. Could you change your contact details? I changed all of my contact details not very long ago, it put me more in the driving seat rather than waiting to see if he would contact me.
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Hello KIP and Healthyarchive. The helpline is a good idea, it’s just working up the courage to call. I haven’t messaged him since I got the call from his dad, although his dad has asked me to not contact him until he’s better, after which he will contact me. I have a new number (but that was for reasons related to moving out), he doesn’t have this info.
Noticed something weird on my phone recently…we used this app to play a (detail removed by Moderator) game. I hadn’t played my turn in ages so eventually the game ended, and after that the winner (in this case him) is prompted about starting a new game. I’m not sure if this a mistake on his part but I got a notification that he wanted to start a new game with me. I’ve just left it alone.
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I think this game notification is autotmatically generated by the IT rather than him initiating it. Maybe when people dont play for a while the game organizers have set something so a new game starts up, purely to keep the game in the public eye. But, even if it is him, i abosolutly do not think you should respond. Take back your power. Deleting the game will be the best thing. Maybe start up another different game that doesn’t involve him.
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