Blame from kids

[Gerbil]

Hi
I would really appreciate your advice and or thoughts on this. I know I have posted something similar a long time ago but I feel the situation is getting worse and my anxiety levels are through the roof.
We have 2 children who are both young adults now. One of them absolutely despises her dad. I can understand why as she has witnessed his verbal abuse towards me and then towards herself.
She keeps on saying things like why didn’t you leave years ago? I hate what he’s done and it’s all your fault.
And I completely understand where she is coming from. I should have left years ago.
Any advice on how to support her would be so welcome x

[Lisa]

Hi Gerbil,

I’m sorry to hear about your situation. That must be really upsetting for you to hear. As you said its understandable due to abuse she witnessed and experienced from her dad. None of it is your fault however and you are not responsible for his behaviour. Its okay to still acknowledge her feelings and what she has been through.

It sounds like she may need some time to process things for herself, you can encourage her to reach out for support or perhaps counselling if she feels ready. You can be there to listen but don’t feel you have to take ownership of what happened and what he did.

Take care and keep posting

Lisa

[Gerbil]

Lisa thank you so much for your reply.
My (detail removed by Moderator) has just attacked me verbally saying I hate you, you have done nothing.
I am absolutely distraught.
She says she thinks of me, the same way as she thinks of him.
I really can’t cope anymore

[Author]

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