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I’ve struggled to find a book about domestic abuse that really resonates; I’ve read Living With The Dominator, Why Does He Do That and Healing From Hidden Abuse, but didn’t feel any ‘spoke’ to me, which didn’t help with my tendency to minimize what I went through. However, I’m currently reading Out of the Fog, Moving from Confusion to Clarity after N**********c Abuse by Dana Morningstar and it is brilliant! I’m highlighting lots of passages and reading so much that makes sense. Anyway, thought I’d mention it in case it helps others too. Hope you’re all staying safe x
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Great! Yes I also found the Pat Craven stuff flat, 2D like, not that relatable, found more value in the group support on a course delivering it; it’s very old now too and could perhaps do with updating, although now I’ve said that I think Craven has been writing about how DA effects children more recently and this is needed.
Lots of stuff out there on N**********c abuse I found helpful; it’s possible you had a N parent – and that’s where it all started? So this might also be a good avenue as well if you’ve not been here already. Evan Stark is also worth a look; and The Body Keeps the Score is undoubtely the best out there for understanding trauma; it’s the trauma clinician’s handbook x
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Thanks fizzylem. I’d be interested in knowing more about the effects on children. I’m pretty sure I did have an N parent, something that hit me in all the reading, self-examining and reflecting I’ve been doing since I left. I find it really helpful to be able to see patterns and work out why what happened happened, if that makes sense. Thanks for the recommendation, I’ll take a look (trying to work on all of this while I have time on my hands!). Hope you’re well x
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Hi, take a look at Melanie Tonya Evans online. I found it really helpful in the early days when n**********c abuse syndrome resonated with me. Try to remember though that although I have found abusers have a huge dose of n********m, they save it for their intimate partner behind closed doors, so it’s n**********c behaviour but I’d do not believe they are true n*********s or they would treat everyone like this. Sarah Speaks on youtube was also helpful. She was a victim of terrible n**********c abuse from her partner and talks about her journey. It’s fantastic that you’re learning. Knowledge Is Power. KIP x
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“People of the Lie” by Dr. Scott Peck is a great book. He nails to the wall (so we can see it) what is otherwise so illusive because it quickly scampers from the light or changes form, disguises itself and transfers blame. He uses his own patients for this as examples, names not revealed of course. I remember reading it decades ago and going OH MY, someone else KNOWS!!!! It’s affirming in that way because he shows you you’re not crazy when you see certain things. Good one for helping your brain when knee deep in that crazymaking and wondering what the heck you thought you saw?
Anything by Dr. Robert Hare is good. Brilliant man! “Without Conscience”, “Snakes in Suits”, etc.
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