Books on Emotional Abuse?

[iliketea]

Hi, I’ve looked through the book list but can’t find. Can anyone suggest anything to read/listen to on Emotional Abuse without violence, or that doesn’t focus on the physical aspects and violence? I’m listening to Jess Hill See What you Made Me Do and trying to superimpose his behaviour/angry outbursts on the sections about physical assault and violence but it’s very much the focus of the book. It’s really good by the way but for me, and my situation I feel it’s leading me to do the comparison thing again, “It’s not that bad, he’s not hitting me, if he did that id be out PDQ” etc etc…So I’m back to minimising as its not that bad which I don’t want to do. I want to read something about the mind-f*** of what I’m going through. The psychological aspects only. Or am I back to thinking I’m just living with a psychopath?

And don’t worry, the label doesn’t matter to me, I’m out, I’m not staying even if he’s not any of these things, but I’m just trying to understand because Im that sort of person.

Happy Sunday. Hope its calm for everyone. Summer solstice has been and gone. Must be some sort of turning point….Here’s living in hope. xx

[KIP.]

‘Healing from hidden abuse’ A good book that you can read and it shows you the stages of recover too but you will recognise a lot of what you’re going through now x

[iliketea]

Thanks @Kip, it’s really good, been listening in my secret headphones, Best Buy ever x

[iliketea]

@KIP!! THIS book! 😮 “If only…!” This book!! Thank you!!! The light bulb has properly really gone on now. You have just given me my one way ticket out of here! Anymore recommendations? x

[nbumblebee]

Just finally got the courage to get this one
Now to read it thanks for the recomendation.

[Wiseafter]

Hi all I have been on YouTube alot looking at Inner Integration videos with Meredith Miller. I found it very useful regarding moving on from abuse from gas lighting and the kind of n**********c abuse that does not involve physical violence or anger but is more about control and manipulation. Hope this helps xx

[iliketea]

Thank you. I’ll try and watch this evening when it’s safe. Thank you x

[Weepingwillow]

Hi . I’m reading living with the dominator at the moment. I want to order a Lundy Bancroft one next.
I’m much like you, I think he doesn’t hit me (he did early days but usually when drunk ) that there are more worse off. He’s being ‘nice’ today and I start doubting myself xx

[Anonymous]

Part of the plan and of his personality. Keeping you confused. You will know him by the consistency of his inconsistencies. Keep reading guys! Keep affirming to yourself that what you see is what you see and it’s all true, you’re not crazy. Not at all. Not one bit. Education and information is power and very key to you finally saying that’s Enough and it’s stopping and it’s stopping right now!

[Scapegoat]

Mind Games by Pamela Kole is very good, it’s about manipulation. However I ended up getting paranoid reading towards the end as my oh says I’m the abusive one

[iliketea]

@scapegoat, thanks, it is good,listened today.x

[Scapegoat]

And Emotional Abuse Breakthrough by Barrie Davenport is about emotional not physical abuse

[Joyfultiger]

Stop The Verbal Abuse: How To End the Verbal Abuse That Controls You
by Elizabeth Nyblade, PhD

This is a great book for describing all the types of psychological abuse. This was the book that helped me escape safely and with clarity and understand the severity of what I was going through.

I have read a lot of books on this area. This was the one I found the best.

Also By M.D. Eric Berne – Games People Play: The Pyschology of Human Relationships – I found this to be useful too. It explains how to stop the games. Though initially that can initiate someone playing them harder so be careful. But it is great to understand what is going on and help new friendships/ relationships be healthier from the start.

[Lisa]

Hi Joyfultiger,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your book recommendations. I hope you find the forum a supportive place. Please do continue to post when you are able to.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[iliketea]

@Joyfultiger, thank you, I’ll look at those. Welcome. x

[iliketea]

@nbumblebee

[nbumblebee]

Wow Thank you so much x

[teatime]

I found the Lundy Bancroft books covered most aspects of abusive behaviour. However, I read them after I had left a second abusive relationship. I didn’t think I was vulnerable and thought abusive Ness was rare.
I’m in a good relationship now but I still study abusiveness as I am still hurt inside, of course.

[Lottieblue]

The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans is brilliant. Don’t be put off by some of the language in the first part. X

[iliketea]

Bump

[iliketea]

@Brunette3

[FlowersAfterFloods]

I am reading ‘Living with the dominator’ as I can’t find any spaces to join the freedom programme.

I’m also reading Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. It is a wonderful, empathetic yet matter of fact book. I am going though it with a pen and sticky notes and writing down which parts are relevant to me. When you flick back through the book and you see just how much abhorrent s**t your ex did to you, it further convinces you to stay away and focus on being happy and safe. The book talks a lot about physical abuse but it also goes in depth about the effect that emotional abuse (and sexual abuse) can have on you. Its really helped me to get on the road to healing, its the best thing I have found while I am saving up to afford therapy.

[Wakemeup]

I loved this thread thankyou ladies x also wondering if we could maybe start a book swap via post? I know some people like to keep hold of books for reference etc .

[KIP.]

I found Melanie Tonia Evans really good on YouTube x she’s more about the n**********c traits of abuse than the physical harm

[iliketea]

Bumping

[Author]

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