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The boundaries on what was acceptable and what wasn’t were so blurred in my relationship. One rule for him and another for me.. but I’m losing what little grasp I had on things all over again.
Once (after he’d left then come back) we talked about spending the evening together, saying we didn’t want a night apart and we missed each other.. we rounded things off my saying we’d see each other later. But later that evening he denied all knowledge of our plans… I hung up the phone on him as I genuinely felt he was lying.. I couldn’t understand how plans for that evening weren’t clear. He said (as he often did) that I needed to learn to communicate properly, that he had no idea that I thought he was coming over… I told him I didn’t believe Him, I said I thought he was lying and he knew I was expecting him but he must’ve made other plans. He stormed over to my house, demanded that i listen to him but then threw his copy of my house key at me and dumped me… was that an example of me being totally unreasonable? Should I have just believed that it was a misunderstanding? He’d lied to me in the past (and continued to lie) about where he was etc… so was it understandable that I had no trust in him at that time? Was my behavior the problem… I don’t think I’d have accused him of lying for no reason… my reactions to him were influenced by things he’d previously done… surely that’s natural -
Hi Starmoon,
Hugggggggggssssss
You were not unreasonable at all! why do they make us feel that everything is our fault? and then we start to question ourselves like we are going crazy?THEY are liars, controlling manipulators! know how to play our chords in every way!
I have had enough of living with my self doubts but still can’t be clear of them. I want to be the person I once was before I met him. Time will tell.You take care Starmoon and remember, THEY are what they are. We can only remain true to ourselves. xx
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It really made me feel I was stupid.. I plaid the previous conversation over in my head.. the words ‘are you coming over later’ didn’t leave my mouth… but I’d originally made plans, I told him I’d canceled my plans and didn’t want to not see him that evening, he joked that he was second choice. I assured him he wasn’t. We said we’d see each other later and then I text him saying I’d let him know when my daughter was asleep (he used to come after her bedtime)… it seemed so clear to me. But then perhaps it could’ve been a genuine misunderstanding… although I’ve never had that sort of misunderstanding with others. I’ve felt like he’s done it at other times too. Once we were heading for a night out, we talked about herring a train to location or taxi. Agreed on a taxi and then booked one. Once in the taxi, he asked why we weren’t getting dropped at the station like we’d agreed… I said we’d talked and both decided it made more sense to do the other option. To which he said I would have to pay for the whole taxi journey as he couldn’t afford it… I had no problem paying but felt it was so abrupt and wondered why he hadn’t mentioned that previously when we’d made the plans. He denied that we made any plans and then said maybe we did but he couldn’t remember or wasn’t listening. I paid the taxi journey but I felt he was doing it deliberately to cause a row and I was standoff ish… he kept barking at me that I was wrong- to the point that a stranger in the street asking if I was ok… and then he walked off and left me. So I had to get a taxi all the way home again
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