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    • #16513
      tittlemouse
      Participant

      why do i feel so sick to the stomach because over the years there has been numerous occasion where i have had to ring police or spent all my time in my bedroom because of the treatment i was recieving from my partner the cps have took it out of my hands now and are charging him and they will probably bring up all past incidents he is going Not guilty when he attends his first hearing so i be will be summoned to give evidence i really dont want to do this but i do think it time he stopped blaming me and took responsibily for his actions i really wished there had been ctv in the area it happened i am frightened that he will be sent to prison cause of the ammount of incidents there have been over the years and i will feel so bad even responsible in a strange way and the thought of it is making me so ill cant sleep i also know now it going to be on going for a while cause a not guilty means it goes to trail and this can take months so every day from now on in for me is going to mentally draining till it over has other people felt like this

    • #16517
      undertherainbow
      Participant

      Hello love, I think what you’re feeling is very normal. I recently went through this. My ex pleaded guilty to the violence and not guilty to the sexual offences, it went to court. He is serving a prison sentence now and there is times I feel responsible for him being locked up. However what I then remind myself of is that it’s HIS fault, not mine. HIS actions put him where he is. You need to remember this too! It’s not your fault, it’s his. Plus you make a valid point about it being in the hands of the CPS now. You can’t really control what happens now because they can and do prosecute even when a witness retracts.

      Is he on remand? Or bailed? If on remand the trial will usually be within six months, it’s different if he’s on bail though.

      Giving evidence isn’t easy, it’s surreal but I’m proud I saw it through and you can too. I cried, sobbed throughout but afterwards I felt I had done the right thing. We need these b******s to face up to what they’ve done. Try see this as your opportunity to stand up for yourself, make yourself be heard as opposed to those times of having to spend it in the bedroom. This is YOUR time now! xx

    • #16519
      tittlemouse
      Participant

      He is on bail at minute doing the usual it is all my fault if i didnt winde him up and that it didnt happen how i said he makes me start doubting myself i really wish ctv had been on and that way i wouldnt have to go but after 4 years of it i have had enough he wont except responsibility for his action at all i dont get why i feel so guilty when he is like he is i think i just feel guilty that if he goes to prison he will loose his job and that will effect his children as he pays maintenance i wish we could have a imput into what sentence they get cause i would curfew him so he can work but nothing else that way he wouldnt be able to keep coming round to mine and make he do a domestic violence cause and hope that would make him see that his behaviour is not acceptable xx i also panic that he going turn up drunk at my home and i will have to ring police and have him re arrested but i know i shouldnt feel guilty as he knows not to come near me terms of bail xx

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