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    • #117413
      Catjam
      Participant

      I have just read a book by Don Hennessy, “Inside the mind of intimate abuse”. It’s enlightening and also made me feel ill. It’s more on the subtleties of these men and how they gradually take over our thinking. He has written another book about regaining control.
      At the end of the first book is a brainwashing scale. You answer never, sometimes or always. It shows the level of brainwashing you have been subjected to. It’s clearly not a thing that you can use in a court of law.
      I scored the over the highest limit-brainwashing with terror. Might be worth a look.

    • #117421
      gettingtired
      Participant

      Thanks catjam, this one sounds interesting.
      I’ve read living with the dominator and it’s a great book but I found it a bit extreme in some ways and couldn’t relate/told myself he isn’t as extreme as this. Why does he do that? by Lundy bancroft I thought was brilliant and could really relate.
      Please post any other suggestions you might have.
      I’d be interested to know if there’s any documentaries about emotional abuse. The ones I’ve found seem to mostly be about severe physical abuse x

    • #117427
      Hawthorn
      Participant

      Hi Catjam,

      I read the “Inside the mind of intimate abuse” one too on the recommendation of my counsellor and had the very same reaction. Felt physically sick at the realisation of how he had abused me at the deepest level. These men violate the sanctity of our minds. The greatest betrayal of trust imaginable. For me so much worse than any physical abuse he perpetrated against me.

      But very healing once I’d processed it. Really helped me to get rid of the shame I felt for having put up with his abuse for so long.

      100% would recommend!!


      @gettingtired
      I found Dr Ramani’s youtube videos on n********tic abuse really helpful. She has a whole series of them. Theres afew ads but they’re free to watch. And the book Catjam mentioned has an online preview of the first 80 pages or so if you wanted to try before you buy!

    • #117428
      Catjam
      Participant

      The book is interesting because even the author gets drawn in by these men and so it shows how clever they are. It’s made me feel less shame and less like it’s my fault. I was a very young naive teenager when I met him. My poor head didn’t stand a chance. But his second book teaches you simple tips on regaining strength in your own thoughts. So while I am still struggling to fight the voice that puts him first, I am doing it a little more each day.

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