This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  starqueen 4 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #97926
     Movingonandon 
    Participant

    It’s taken me a long time to realise that my dad is abusive. Some of you may know from past posts the my ex partner was extremely abusive. And now I’ve come to the realisation that I was bred for slaughter by my own dad. A few years back I did cut ties with my dad, however recently I decided to give him another chance. What a fool I was. I’ve been extremely unwell and have had multiple surgeries. He has been verbally abusive and threatening physical violence by entering my personal space. When I explained to him what he done. He laughed at me. Since then I recieved a load of abusive messages from my own dad. I’m hurting because since then he hasn’t bothered to check how I am. But I also know why would he because hes abusive. The difficulty I have from cutting him off again is the extended family. I’ve decided I can maintain relationships away from him. But it’s so hard. I’ve been in hospital for a long time and feel down.

  • #97930
     thankgoodness 
    Participant

    So sorry hun xx

    All I can say is keep talking to us about what’s going on. For me I find talking/writing therapeutic. I’m going through familial abuse too but it’s my abusive brother. I feel like I was born to get abused by my brother and an ex-friend. It’s tough. Everyday I get panic attacks. These abusers even tell us lies. Don’t believe lies from family abusers. I don’t speak to my abusive brother because I don’t want any trouble and he harrasses me saying oh I don’t talk to him because I hate men (this is total lies!!!). I have been abused all my life so I’m not into dating but I got friends of all genders. My brother always wants me to look at him like he is some attention seeker, it’s sibling harrassment. I even have nightmares constantly that my brother is gonna do something to me. I told Samaritans about my suffering.

    Are you getting some sort of help to cope with your familial abuse?

  • #97932
     cirrocumulus 
    Participant

    Yes, I have an abusive father too who hides behind perceived parental alienation to justify his harassment and verbal abuse. I feel like you both that I’ve been set up for a life of exploitation by other abusive men – husband and several men elsewhere. It is so tiring being on the receiving end of so much hatred and entitlement. I’ve tried getting some help but familial abuse is not really understood that well from professionals and I feel alone in trying to deal with them. A different mind set is required, but I’m not sure how to get there on my own.

  • #98158
     starqueen 
    Participant

    I’ve had something similar. The last text messages I had from my dad were verbally abusive. I know not everyone can do this but it was one of the best things I ever did to cut contact with him. It’s really hard to know that the people who are supposed to be there for you sometimes aren’t. We can find family in other places though, it’s not about blood but about those who show genuine love, care and compassion. There’s also a really good book by Susan Forward called Toxic Parents which you might benefit from.

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