Broken bones

[Ssss]

Well he pushed me over and I’ve broken my arm.. and like a fool I said oh yes I slipped… he pushed me I fell no big deal to him.. I went out as always.. he seemed surprised when I came back with arm In cast oh what have you done he said.. I have been left to manage with kids… Carnt drive have no choice… nothing changes..I just hate this

[SunshineRainflower]

That is awful Ssss, it is very abusive dangerous behaviour and the gaslighting is sickening too. Is it safe for you to ring the helpline? Have you got an exit plan in place? You deserve so much more than this and it sounds like he is minimising his violence. Please stay safe and put yourself first.

[Chickadee]

Hi.

I think that the gaslighting that they do pretending they haven’t done anything and don’t know what happened or nothing happened is even worse then the act. Because you heal much faster over the injury, your brain does not heal from the concept of non-caring, non-responsibility, from the twisted/fake games. It’s intent, there is no “real” remorse.

As such, someone that pushes you and is not concerned with the result of that or about your that you injury is capable of more. So it’s time to think of the safety of you and your children.

Chickadee

[Brokenwings]

Dear ssss, it’s really upsetting to hear what he is doing to you. My ex used to push me all the time on the top of other physical and emotional abuse, luckily he never managed to break any of my bones but I ended up with bruises, scratches, bites marks and so on. One thing I always remembered is to stay away from the stairs just in case he will push me down. Try to keep yourself and your family as safe as possible, they are unpredictable and you never know what’s or when is coming next. My prayers are with you. Don’t loose your hope, there is always a way out, no matter how hard, impossible and scary it may seem at the moment. Think about health and safety of yourself and your kids. Maybe start thinking about escape plan, you will find advice here to help you with it. Look up at trauma bond, it will help you to understand why we stay and put up with the abuse. I left my abuser few (removed by moderator) and I know worst is still a head of me, he will never let me go easily, he is still very nice, as he wants to win me back again. But this time is different, it’s different because other people are aware of it. (Detail removed by moderator). That was the moment I opened up about my relationship for the first time. I found this forum and I was able to get it all out, and believe me it was the best thing I ever did! Instead of messaging back and forward with him( brainwashing me) I talk here. I still need to tell my family. Stay strong and keep posting. All the best xx

[freedomtochoose]

I am going to say something that will sound very harsh. But I think you need to hear it.
If social services get wind of the real reason for your broken bone, I would not be
surprised if they chose to take your kids away. Immediately. If he is that dangerous to you
then your kids are at risk of life and limb. You need to act now.

You need to wake up. And leave.
all best
ftc
xx

[Lisa]

Dear Ssss,

I’m so sorry to read what he has done; pushing you so that you have broken your arm constitutes very serious physical abuse. As the other forum users have said, his disregard for his actions must be incredibly hurtful and is alarming. I am concerned for you and your children’s safety whilst living with this man.

You have posted in the past about ending the relationship and leaving; but we all understand how difficult it is to take that step. If you feel you can and when you’re safe to, could you post on here or call the helpline to talk about the barriers you’re facing when it comes to making changes? Is it financial worries, practical concerns like housing, the children? By talking these through step by step it can help to unravel the worries. You must be feeling exhausted, but you don’t have to do this alone. There is lots of support available whenever you are ready.

The National Domestic Violence Helpline is available 24 hours a day and they can talk through your situation and help you to make a safety plan. You can read more about the Helpline here.
I also encourage you to look at our Safety Planning guidance in the Survivor’s Handbook, and to talk to your children about what to do in an emergency.

As you say nothing will change with his abusive behaviour, the cycle of abuse continues, but you do have the power to make changes to keep you and your children safe, and it really helps when you have the right support.

Kind regards and keep posting,

Lisa

[Author]

Posts