Brother & family

[RedSky]

I was contacted by the mental health team by me, they told me to phone women’s aid and let them know that I was a “survivor” of abuse.

My brother has been violent to me, and becomes violent when he can’t get his own way. He’s only ever physically assaulted me a handful of times so I chickened out of phoning women’s aid, I feel like the abuse wasn’t bad enough to warrant help.

This could be down to my gaslighting family, they always tell me to “let him in” even after he’s tried to kick the door down and punch the windows through, even after he’s threatened me. But they won’t take him.
Even though they have spare rooms, they won’t take him and they’ll come up with EVERY excuse in the book to stop him from going there.

My mother is a functional alcoholic who would drive a mile drunk if it were for a bottle of wine, but when I phone her to tell her, her son is punching her windows through and threatening me her response is “I’ve had a drink, I can’t drive.”

I feel like I’m stuck in a never ending cycle.

[Lisa]

Hi RedSky,

Welcome to the forum.

I’m sorry that you have been experiencing such abuse from your brother and family. You sound quite isolated in all this too, so it’s important you get the help you need to be safe and be heard. Do get in contact with your local domestic abuse service, as they are always a good place to start in terms of getting help and learning what options you have. They will understand what you are going through, so please do not feel unable to engage with them. Your brother clearly puts you at risk. You may want to consider letting the police know and getting an injunction in place to protect yourself. You may want to contact Domestic Violence Assist (a specialist injunctions service) on 0800 195 8699 (24/7), http://www.dvassist.org.uk/ to understand how this can be put in place. Again, a local domestic abuse worker can also explain and help you through with this process. They should also help you approach the police if this is helpful.

If you feel unsafe to stay in your own home, you may also want to look into going into a refuge. A refuge is a safe house which offers temporary accommodation for women and their children. There are refuges throughout the UK which provide a place of safety for any woman who needs to escape abuse, married or single, with or without children. There is a full breakdown of refuge accommodation along with frequently asked questions here: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/what-is-a-refuge-and-how-can-i-stay-in-one/

I hope this is helpful. Do keep posting as I’m sure you’ll soon find other women here that can offer understanding and support.

Take care,

Lisa

[StrongLife]

I agree with above post.getting to safe space is paramount. They have very little things they can do then to physically harm and contact you.

[Author]

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