Burning Bridges

[keepmovingfoward]

I’m sure i’m going to crash at some point as its still early days. but i’m adamant i’m not going back. my relationship with my children depends on no contact.
i saw my solicitor yesterday. i discussed the custody thing that the childrens dad is pushing for. now the ex is out of the picture i should be fine. i asked about changing my name back to the same as my childrens. and he deed polled my name for me there and then.
then i went straight down to my bank and changed my name there too. then when i got home i cleared the last few tiny areas of the house that had the last few remaining items of his and either threw them out (ie foodstuffs) or hid it from view (other belongings)
now the house only has the items that were mutually purchased or gifted to me, like large furniture and white goods that i can’t go without.
i feel better than i have done for many many years im talking pre ex and pre childrens dad leaving. i don’t know why! i dont think my anti depressants would be that good would they?
i do worry that its all going to hit me like a tonne of bricks at some point but for now i know im doing what is best for me and my children and i know i have my family (mum, dad and other relatives) there to support my decision.

[fizzylem]

Wow! How self empowering! Ridding yourself of his name and claim on you – yeehaa! It is done! Back to being you again a bit more – its the rituals, the act of doing something that can really help, are really important, in the same way we need to bury the dead, its important yes? To do – take time out to do it – feel like we have done, go through this process – reflect – it all helps with the letting go. Doing cartwheels for you! x

[keepmovingfoward]

I do worry a little that i haven’t allowed myself enough time to grieve, i know someone who admitted to me very recently that she’d been through something very very similar to me and she had pretty much stopped herself from grieving her relationship properly. and she was still suffering for it years later. though i believe she was with the childs dad, and i do think that complicates matters. in someways i’m been able to do a no contact clean break easier as my children have a different dad to my abusing ex. his true colours didnt show until after we married and moved in to my home. we’d only been married a short while before the police became involved due to his past. in some respects some of the decisions have been slightly forced upon me, initially i was fighting to keep our marriage but once the fog cleared i ran as fast i could and havent looked back.

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