16th December 2018 at 10:29 pm #68791thelightinmeParticipant
I used to wonder, will I ever feel like posting something under ‘positive moments’? And now the time has come.
Since my children and me escaped from hell and started living in our little rented house, I have noticed an instant but powerful change around us: there’s such peace and calm. This will sound like a contradiction, but even when the children make noises or the baby cries, there is a sense of quiet serenity. This is so priceless. And my finances are in a mess, I’ve lost so much along the way already, some material, some human like friendships.
I’ve see my children’s faces destroyed when I told them they’ll be changing schools in January. But then I remind them of how far we’ve come already. Meal times are such joy. But they used to be helish. He used to control what and how much we all eat, including force feeding the children and shouting, punishing them if they didn’t because they were ungrateful. He used to tell me I was spoilt mock me for not wanting to finish my plate. Then he would glare at us in rage and bang doors to the point of making cracks on the wall. I thought I would miss my old house so much, the one I owned. I do miss my cats.
But to have gained this peaceful atmosphere is such a comforting feeling, so reassuring… It’s like living in a oasis after needing water for so long.
Thank you all for listening to my reflections xx
16th December 2018 at 11:00 pm #68792IwantmebackParticipant
That’s a lovely post thelightinme,💕💕
it’s not leaving my house I’m struggling with, it’s selling it and packing everything up that scares me. How good would it be to just wake up one morning and I was in my own place like you. I’m trying to put the thoughts of leaving on hold, but I can’t. I want what you have, and the other ladies I’ve spoken to on here who are now out.
I know its because we’re not in the middle of anything the now and I’m feeling quite poorly the now too that I’m getting, not complacent, but it’s not quite as all consuming. But it’s simmering away every day this need to leave. I wish you all such joy and happiness and peace in the future. You truly are one amazing woman, a true warrior princess💪💕💕
16th December 2018 at 11:18 pm #68796thelightinmeParticipant
Thank you so much again for your warm words iwmb. Like you, I used to feel scared of all the ‘logistics’ surrounding the move, from packing to more serious issues like selling the house. In fact, I was shocked when my DV worker from local women’s aid advised me to leave ‘in secret’, without even having sold the house. But then I realised, it was the only way to do it.
What I can tell you so far is that, once you feel the peace I was talking about, everything else is so insignificant. I know a house is probably the most valued possession most of us can ever aspire to have but, in reality, without our health, we have nothing. So we can only start building up again from the ashes of what we once had (or thought we had). And then we can light up a fire again, our own fire. It’s easier said than done, I know. You’ll get there, in your own time. You’re stronger and more knowledgable each day, despite having some down moments, which are quite normal if you think of they way you are living. I and you lots of love and strength ❤️ Xx
16th December 2018 at 11:21 pm #68798IwantmebackParticipant
Thank you, your words mean an awful lot and are very inspiring. 💞
19th December 2018 at 5:54 pm #68911AyannaParticipant
I can so relate to your post.
I felt similar when I moved into my new place.
The peace and calm are so nice and relaxing.
And you can do what you want and do not have to justify anything.
Life just gets better and better and the money problems will get better too!
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