• This topic has 3 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 1 week ago by Buddy.
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    • #119622
      Buddy
      Participant

      Hi ladies .. I wanted to touch base as not been on here for a while .. trying to catch up with those stories I am familiar with , not that I can give great advice .
      Most of you prob know my history .. he has been on his best behaviour since just before Xmas .. I M still saving like mad , as I have seen the odd time where the mask drops slightly but he pulls it back !!
      Currently enjoying the peace , which helps get head together to think more rationally , with logistics rather than doing it under stress, anxiety and exhaustion .
      Love to u all x

    • #119625
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hey there, glad to see you’re beginning to recognise this pattern. He will pull it back when it suits him, this is what he’s been doing for years. It’s the cycle of abuse. He knows he pushed you and you’re fog is clearing so he will simply change tactics for a while. He gets no credit for pulling it back. You’re still in danger so keep working on that exit plan because it won’t be long before that mask slips again. It may feel peaceful but we are never anxiety free when living with abuse. Stay safe x

    • #119698
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Buddy

      Thanks for posting and letting us know how things are.

      It must be really difficult trying to save but you’re doing well.

      Unfortunately as you already know, this is all part of the cycle of abuse and soon the tension may start to build again, so it may be a good idea to make a safety plan too; https://www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/making-a-safety-plan

      Take care and keep posting to let us know how you are.

      Lisa

    • #119703
      Buddy
      Participant

      Thanks Lisa ,
      I have learnt so much from you ladies and my own reading .. I understand the cycle completley and I am not being fooled .. just comfortable biding my time and waiting for more money to be saved etc .
      Thank u x

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