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    • #45532
      Ayanna
      Participant

      This is what we have to do when fighting the abusers.
      I made sure he did not know what I was going through emotionally.
      (detail removed by Moderator) I ensured I looked on top of the game always.

      When they think that we are calm and cold and working our way through everything against them they get frightened, nervous, scared.

      I am sure the ex got freaked out as I was not giving in(detail removed by Moderator).
      I put on expensive looking dresses (detail removed by Moderator), used jewellery that he did not know, had another person with me at all times.

      They do not need to know how we suffer.

    • #45534
      lover of no contact
      Participant

      So true Ayanna,

      my abuser got worse the weaker I became. Talk about kicking someone when they’re down. He delights in my weakness and so makes sense. If we appear strong they don’t get the same kicks anymore. And when we’re ill, God help us if living with an abuser, they will upp the abuse. And if we’re vulnerable, say someone close to us has died then will get great delight in making us even more upset. Double fuel for them. And dare we be tired or vulnerable or overstressed or pressurized well then they’ll go all out with abuse non-stop.

      Really is impossible living with an abuser.

    • #45536
      Ayanna
      Participant

      That was about the legal battle after fleeing and getting out. Unfortunately this was all deleted.
      Whilst we live with them there is not much that we can do, because when we show resistance we are at risk of getting murdered.

    • #45560
      Confused123
      Participant

      totally agree with u ladies, we have to play them that their own game

    • #45562
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Hi ayanna

      I learnt a big lesson the more I loved him.the worse the abuse got .but he did it in stages so I would not notice till i opened my third eye

      I can’t belive i never run. I so wish i kept a diary times dates etc

      He silenced me with gifts
      Brainwashed me

      I will never fall victim ever again
      Iam stronger wiser now
      Even though hes walking the streets i wont give up my fight … but abusers dont change
      I just hope one day karma will get him
      I live in hope X

    • #45567
      KIP.
      Participant

      Even when they see us on our knees suffering from PTSD. Even when doctors letters are produced confirming that they have caused this mental illness. They still live in denial. Mine accused me of making it all up. Crocodile tears. Either way they justify their behaviour. What scares them is other people seeing the results of their behaviour and exposing them for the abusers they really are.

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