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    • #121174

      just wondering, can a autistic person be a gaslighter because they dont see the world the same way?

    • #121199

      Do you mean they’re unintentionally gaslighting because they see things so differently? I don’t know much about autism. But I would say that the important question is how does the behaviour malmake you feel? True gaslighting is where the person is knowingly trying to make the other person feel like they’re going mad. But my experience is that abusive behaviour doesn’t need to be true gaslighting to have a similar effect. Abusers are often trying to force you to meet their expectations because they think they’re right and you need to change. If somebody is constantly telling you you’re wrong/useless/not good enough etc you start to doubt your ability to manage. If somebody is constantly challenging your judgement you start to doubt it. Then you can be left so confused about everything, which is very similar to how you’d feel if somebody was knowingly trying to make you doubt yourself.

      I hope that makes sense. I short, if the behaviour makes you feel like you’re not good enough then it’s not ok whether it’s true gaslighting or not. Xxxxx

    • #121207

      Its so hard to tell. The gaslighting behaviour is lying, or talking without context, mirroring, saying I am manipulating the kids, never taking on board that others have their own emotions, and has rage outbursts. the autistic person also buys kids gifts “because they want them” I have looked into autism and they can appear self centred, have rage outbursts, dont understand context or emotional context. This is towards me, and professionals about me. In therapy and trying to move past thinking he must be abusing the kids, however don’t want to accept behaviours just because he doesnt know what he is doing.

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