Can anyone relate

[Better-days]

So iv been with my partner too many years however I have a close relationship with my family. My partner is abusive iv never turned to them but I know they clearly know it. We get included in everything and it’s my (detail removed by Moderator) special birthday nect week the whole family r invited and me and my oldest son only. This has hurt me so much I’m so close to my nephew but how can I possibly go without my partner and tell him he’s not invited or our youngest son. I know there’s times my family just think im an idiot for putting up with him but my god I would absolutely have shot of him in a heart beat if it was as easy as that I’m just so hurt xx

[Iwantmeback]

Hi, wow this is a difficult one. It’s taken me ages to write a reply, so please forgive me if it doesn’t sound sympathetic because that is not what I’ve intended. Your family has actually put you in a very awkward and possibly volatile position. If they truly knew about the abuse they wouldn’t have done this. I never told any of my family about what was going on in my relationship either. Does your partner usually get invited to family gatherings, if so why not this time and also why your youngest son’s exclusion. That alone would make me not go anyway. Even if they’re going to a venue that sells alcohol, since it’s a private function, minors are allowed in. Could you have a word with your brother/ sister and let them know how difficult they’ve made this for you. Is your partner likely to get aggressive or horrible to anyone else. If not,then it looks like they’re sticking up for you, but are going the wrong way about it. If they’re adamant about not inviting your partner, then one option is not to go altogether, just use your youngest as not being invited as your reason for not going. That way it won’t give your partner an excuse to bad mouth your family and possibly alienate you from them in the future. OR and it’s a big OR and depends on where you are in your journey in regards to staying/ leaving. You could always tell your partner he’s not invited and we all know where that could go. Maybe this happening is a way for you to open up to your family now, end of the day only you can decide what’s right for you.
Good luck
IWMB 💞 💞

[Better-days]

Thank you sorry for late reply. I decided not to go I took on a shift at work and it solved the problem.

Thank you for advice x

[StrongLife]

Please keep this link with your family if you have a close family. Consider telling your family if suitable the situation.

I had neighbours who helped me in end, you will need help in future.

I’ve had family members be of little to no support and cutting me off in similar circumstances, openly blaming me without consulting me.things I had no idea he was doing until later etc. It is extremely hurtful however They we’re being assaulted themselves.
If your family is supportive please keep them as a link for future help.

Please consider counselling.

[Better-days]

Thank you stronglife my family r very supportive i know that’s one thing that will definitely get me through when the time comes.

[Author]

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