Can he stop me from going legally?

[Newboundaries]

Can he put something in place to stop me from leaving with our child or even get me out?
A little anxious noticed a few long calls recently on his phone, they called him a couple times recently and it says no caller id. He called Citizens Advice so not sure if it is from them or another support group but he is obviously planning something. Can’t find any other evidence to explain and he is very secretive, I question did you go for a walk when he has been ages and he says yes but then looks down so I know he is lying. I don’t think its solicitors, he is tight with money and I still manage our bank accounts so haven’t seen anything for that.

Any ideas/experience what this could be?

[KIP.]

If he has evidence he can have you removed from the home for abuse. He can get a non molestation order, just like you can to prevent contact. Be careful he isn’t provoking you and recording you.its a very dangerous time and if he senses you’re planning on leaving there’s nothing he won’t do. The best thing you can do is contact women’s aid as soon as possible or take your child to family or friends and let him use the legal route for access. He can also leave and take his child, leaving you to have to go down the legal route. Never ever underestimate these men. They know the way to control us is through our children so it’s important there’s a legally binding order in place before he’s allowed access. He can not prevent you leaving your home but there are orders that he could try and get to prevent you leaving the country. Take legal advice in this as you do not want him accusing you of anything. Be guided by women’s aid. They may have space in a refuge or may be able to help with local housing and benefits information x

[Newboundaries]

I do have something set up with a local charity which I haven’t taken yet but wanted to use this as a last resort. I might try and contact womens aid too for legal advice on Monday. He is definitely up to something.

[Iwantmeback]

I’ve found that by preparing fir the worst no nasty surprises take us unawares. Can you get all your personal paperwork together,birth certificates, marriage certificate if applicable, loan agreements, mtg details if applicable, if you can’t take originals take copies on your phone and put in a separate folder. Have you got An emergency bag packed, medication, clothes,favourite toy whatever you might need, phone charger, its amazing how many forget it. Once you’ve got legal advice it costs some more of the fog away.
Good luck 💞💞

[Newboundaries]

I agree Iwantmeback my mind will be more settled then. Definitely need to get legal advice although I am not sure who to start with – CAB, Womens Aid or Gingerbread Company. I have the important documents together and hidden but not done the other stuff yet as I think he will notice. Trying to get myself organised over the next coming weeks so that I am ready x

[Iwantmeback]

That’s great to hear, yes totally don’t do anything you think he may notice. I have to laugh now, my house was so tidy before I left as I’d got riddd of so much clutter. Its only till after that it slotted into place fir him. I even cleaned skirting boards, washed floors. It was like I had to do this so he’d have nothing to complain about and I’d left knowing I’d tidied up my loose ends for the most. If I’d known lockdown was coming I’d not bothered, would have given him something to do, but I needed to do it that way. We do what’s right for us in the end.
Keep posting and planning, I can’t emphasise that enough.
Best wishes IWMB 💞💞

[Newboundaries]

Thanks, that is reassuring to hear. I am going mad on decluttering and getting organised, its never ending especially during tough times but I feel I can’t go before otherwise I will be in more of a pickle. And once I have done that if there is time I have been considering giving the home (detail removed by moderator) a deep clean too! Must be mad x

 

 

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