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(Detail removed by moderator).
Sinse he left my anxiety has lessened so much but I still struggled to sleep and go out or go to bed without checking the door lots! I thought this was because of the tablet I take, I even asked the doctor if it was a side effect. She said it wasn’t. Anyway…
(Detail removed by moderator). I really did think I was ok with him being there, but I have felt so free knowing I have no idea where he is and vice versa. Yesterday thinking he would be back today I sat at my desk crying. Scared about bumping into him.
(Detail removed by moderator) I have asked my manager to inform hr about what has happened and how it’s affecting me.
(Detail removed by moderator) I wish him no ill at all. I want him to be happy.
There is probably going to be some consequences of me doing this. Perhaps not my safest move. But how can I put so much effort into my self, practicing self care and talking to you guys, and then not say a word about me being scared still. I didn’t even realise I was scared until he wasn’t there. It isn’t even doing this because of him. I just want to get some self respect back.
Am I crazy? Is standing up a stupid idea that’s going to open a whole new can of worms?
Would the better option be to just let it be? I’m safe now. We have cut all ties…..
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I personally think that living your life in fear is no life at all. The fact that you have realized he is causing you distress and made a step to overcome it is extremely brave. I had a similar situation with my ex and telling someone and making that first step to standing up for myself and getting even a little justice was terrifying and still is, but now I don’t have to see him every day and it helps so much.
I know it seems terrifying, but you are so strong for doing what you did, letting it be will bring zero closure, trust me, I tried to let it be for years and I didn’t realize how much it negatively affected me until I finally stood up for myself. You deserve to live a life without the level of fear every day, you deserve to be happy and if not seeing him helps, then I’m glad you did what you did and I’m proud of you.I’m sorry if this is a little rambly and I managed to get my point across <3
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Hey Fergie, not sure I fully undertsand your post, maybe because quite a bit was removed? Are you saying you want to stand up to him directly in some way? After cutting contact and being out?
Yes I fully agree with H, living in fear in no way to live; but you can do this without poking a stick into the wasps nest, by living this way every day from now, by always standing in your truth and calling folk out when needed.
If it’s gone quiet for you now, and he seems to be keeping clear of you – you are the envy of pretty much most women on this on this site! Or maybe I’ve misunderstood? x
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