29th May 2020 at 1:35 pm #104635HappyImFreeParticipant
Hi, I’m new in forum, and I have been posting in other topics because I have many questions.
I left my partner moths ago, but after couple of weeks he found out where my new place was, he asked LO to show him the house. I moved very near by because I didn’t want to change LO school and place of work, so since then he hasn’t stop following and harassing me, and things got worse now during lockdown, he seems to know what time I go out because I see him around every time I go shopping or to the park, the last time he approached me and told me he knows everything I do, he found out I’m seeing some else because again he asked LO, so I decided to not allow him to speak with her on his own, he also asked me where I m going to move now because he knows I’m looking for a new place, I don’t know how he found out this because I haven’t spoke to anyone about it. I spoke to my social worker and she is helping me with an organisation, she spoke to them about my situation and asked them to find a place for me, but I didn’t hear from them within a week so I called them, they said they will call me back but they didn’t, again I called them and they told me the same but I haven’t heard from them anymore, don’t know what to do, or if I can call another organisation, I tried to contact the social worker but it seems she works part time, because she only reply to me Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I don’t know why they are taking ages
Another thing, he is still in contact with LO over the phone, he keeps messaging her, inviting her to the park, or eating a pizza or an ice cream, I try to explain to her that at the moment he is not able to see her (court proceedings are ongoing) but she starts crying and I feel guilty, he makes this situation harder for me when he contacts LO and makes me think that I am doing it all wrong
29th May 2020 at 4:57 pm #104640LisaMain Moderator
Sorry to hear you have been having difficulty in getting the help you need.
You may want to contact your local domestic abuse service who can do refuge searches for you (this may be the organisation your Social Worker has been liaising with). It may just be better to have direct contact with them anyway as you can then call them when you want, on-going and you need. Find your local service here. If you have a particular area that you are wanting to go in a refuge, you can always do searches in the directory link I just included to search for possible refuges to call yourself and enquire if there is space. The benefit of having either your Social Worker or a Domestic Abuse Worker get refuge numbers for you is that they will have been advised to have a vacancy. But your welcome to call out to refuges yourself as they are public numbers.
I hope this helps. Understandably you struggle with seeing your daughter upset, though remember you are the parent and are doing what is best for her. She is too young to understand the complexities of your situation. Trust your instincts.
All the best and take care,
29th May 2020 at 8:54 pm #104659HappyImFreeParticipant
Hi Lisa, thanks for your reply
Yes, my social worker contacted them already and she hasn’t had any response, so I decided to contacted them and I’m still waiting to hear back from them, I also emailed them, hoping to have an answer soon, and I will call again on Monday, don’t like to be very insisting but I really need support.
Also I would like to know how can I deal with my daughter and her father’s contact, should I stop her of speaking to him over the phone? Don’t know what to do, I’m so confused, I don’t like to see her crying and sad
30th May 2020 at 9:38 am #104693LisaMain Moderator
I hope you hear back from them soon, yes you are doing the right thing by insisting, there is nothing wrong with that as it’s so important you get support.
It sounds like a difficult situation. If there is no court order in place yet then you could stop the contact for now, it’s just worrying that he could make your daughter tell him details about your plans and this will put your safety at risk, and also because he keeps inviting her out with him which is confusing and upsetting her. You may be best speaking to a women’s aid support worker on our online chat so you can go into more detail about your situation and maybe get some further advice about what you should do.
You could also speak to The Coram Children’s Legal Centre is a unique, independent national charity concerned with law and policy affecting children and young people. They offer legal advice and representation to children, their carers and professionals throughout the UK. They can be contacted on 0300 330 5480, 8am – 6pm, Mon – Fri. The Children’s Legal Centre has a website at http://childlawadvice.org.uk/ .
Rights of women also have lots of useful information on their website about child contact too.
Take care and keep posting
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