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So we have had about (detail removed by moderator) of the ‘niceish’ phase. He was fine with me yesterday morning, he even made me a coffee. He goes to (detail removed by moderator) then bang! He changes completly towards me. He is angry asking me questions about my work and right back we go to the angry and aggressive partner.
My work pattern has changed slightly and he doesn’t like it at all (not that it has anything to do with him or affects him in anyway) he says I make more of an effort for my work and everyone else but him.
When I say effort he expects me to do many things like…Only wash my hair at night rather than the morning and wear mo make up to work, come to bed with a full face of make up, have sex everynigjt more than once, send him sexually expilict messages during the day, dress like I am going out clubbing when I am with him at home and not in my lounge comfy clothes. He says I made lots of effort with ex’s so I should do all that for him. He says he won’t be happy till I do all that and will (detail removed by moderator) until then. When we forst met years ago I was stuidly messages another guy i knew on facebook and he hacked my account and saw it all but I never physically cheated, it was just flirty messages. I regret it and have soent years trying to win back his trust but he is so paranoid and jealous because of that and it is getting worse. He doesn’t trust me and doesn’t believe a word I ever say! My world is so small and has been for years in a bid to win back some trust. But his jealously is just so extreme.
He is very abusive emotionally and very nasty. He blames everything on me. Nothing is ever his fault. His aggression is getting worse and worse and I honestly fear for my life sometimes. He regually tells me he would kill me, one text he even said ‘(detail removed by moderator)’ he has attacked me before. I won’t repeat some of the latest texts he has sent me threatening my life as they are just horrific.
He kicked me (detail removed by moderator) because he thought I rolled my eyes at him and said how disrespectful I am. I didn’t even roll my eyes at him. I jumped up scared because he had that look of the devil in him and he said ‘(detail removed by moderator)’
God, theres so much and he is just awful. His behaviour has made me fall out of love with him a long time ago but i can’t just leave because of the things he says he will do. Like spread the worst kind of lies and turn our son agaisnt me. The fear of that keeps me here with him.
I have said I am at the point where I will report his behaviour or turn to someone for advice. His reply is that he doesn’t care, bring it on.
Sorry to ramble. Just need to vent. Feel it can’t get any worse. I had promised myself last time I would start reporting things and keeping a diary but still I have done nothing
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Thank you for sharing. This sounds like an awful way to live. My ex used to say I put more effort into work than I did when I was at home. The truth is, I liked the people at work and I enjoyed being there more than I did being at home. They actually treated me like a human, he treated me like I was there to take all his moods out on. Its not right that he is making you dress and act in ways at home – that should always be your choice.
It really sounds like you might need some help – when you are ready – so that you can leave in a safe way. He sounds very volatile and with those texts, you should have evidence to show the police if you need them.
You can’t keep trying to make up for a silly mistake from years ago – and you actually didn’t do anything. It doesn’t justify this awful treatment.
Please keep posting and sharing. We are here for you x
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