This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Lotus20 1 day, 9 hours ago.

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  • #111446
     Lotus20 
    Participant

    I called the police after he threatend me that things are gong to end badly if I didn’t let him go out with our baby, as I wanted to go with the whilst he has threatened me to take a baby from me before.
    I still can’t belive when the police came, I felt I was the one who was guilty and controlling him. They took us into separate rooms and I dint know what he said to them. All I know he is very good in playing the words with me, one thing says and then he said that’s my interpretation and he didn’t mean that he meant something much more positive. There has been threats and emotional urts and he makes either excuses for his behavior or blames me that I did something wrong and this in response to that or I misinterpreted him
    I can not belive how much games he is playing on me and how stupid and helpless I feel. He pushes my mental health boundaries and then I’m left with so much anxiety and helplesless and depression feelings and he knows that I am prone to anxiety and I am afraid that he is going to uses this against me as he has done so far by taking advantage of my anxiety and constantly playing nice and charming and sarcastic and nasty… I am really feeling dead, and lonely, I feel no one can see behind his mask and I came to think its all my fault.
    Can anyone pleas help if you have got a similar situation and how are you coping. I feel so helpless.

  • #111474
     tavarish 
    Participant

    I understand completely your feelings. I have spoken to my therapist and maybe you can use it as well in a way to heal. She told me that I had also mistakes but none of them are compared to the abuse that I received from him and how he kept humiliating me after I left, how he lied to everyone about me. So maybe keep this in mind that you guys must have arguments like most couples do, but the abuse came from his side and you should stay strong and continue this report to respect yourself and recognize what he did is bad for you and you won’t let this happen again with anybody else.

    So I am taking my therapist’s words into consideration and acknowledge the situation every day more to what really happened to me and this should not be underestimated, I know that she is 100% right and I am strong and soon I will find the strength to continue this report.

    Hope this can help you. A big hug.

  • #111502
     Lotus20 
    Participant

    Hi Tavarish

    Thank you for your words, means a lot to me. I have been pushed to the end of my psychological and emotional limitation and I need to hear that this is not my fault.
    My referral called the police for the second time on the same day as some new issues came up as I was opening up to her. Whilst I was myself in a very difficult emotional states and could not trust him to be around us, the police didn’t remove him and said that he has the same concerns, I can’t belive that he can do that and the police belived him.
    I ws left lonely and manipulated and now sacred or what is going to be his reaction.
    I can’t sleep or eat properly and I was came to the this point by him, I feel alarmed, but this police belived him when he says that he can not leave me with the baby that he has the same concern because I’m highly anxious.
    What is this if not manipulation and abuse can someone please help.

  • #111505
     Lostforever 
    Participant

    In my experience, yes they can manipulate the police. Many of the police officers who attended the incidents here over the years were fantastically supportive, but some of them had zero sympathy for me, to the extent that on one occasion when I ran outside and called them, half dressed and hysterical, they ended up arresting me because he told them I was responsible for a self-inflicted injury he had.

    In my case, there were so many incidents and I was not the only victim, so in the end, the police worked out who the abuser was, but I will never trust them again like I used to before my experience with DV.

    I would suggest that you call the helpline and get some advice; no one has the right to scare someone so much that they can’t eat or sleep.

  • #111546
     Lotus20 
    Participant

    Hi losrforever,

    I am very happy to hear from your experiencex that actually make me thing that I am not to blame and they can make mistakes. I have so much hope and trust on them that I was questioning myself. But it is very true that they can manilutae very very good. The next day he was the one that was questioning me what did I say to the police and what’s my next action. I told him that I feel I am to explain myself, I did tell him what I told the poilc of course and that was what he knew already himself, my concerns about how aggressive and manipulative he can get and how worried and alarmed I am. Then I asked how about you tell me what did you say to them. He told them that he can not recognise me and that I am highly anxious and that he can not leave me with our baby. I can’t belive myself that he did use that kind of manipulative strategy and they did belive him and its really makes me feel angry and stressed and also it just gets more clear to me the extent to which he can manipulate.

    I am devastated, trying whatever I can to save my family and also myself. I’m thorn apart. Trying to keep myself together and my family together ایم, but can not forgive the emotional abuse and control and now the unbelievable manipulation. I am hoping that I can get as much as help I can from the Professionals to make things clear to myself and him and everyone and take it from there.
    Thanks again for your support.

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