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    • #122225
      gettingtired
      Participant

      Hello ladies,

      Firstly I want to say I’m sorry for posting so much on here lately. I feel bad for taking up space but it’s very difficult at the moment for me to make any phone calls as he’s always with me. I have tried WA live chat which is good but they directed me to helplines which isn’t easy to do right now.

      I was wondering if anyone has any experience of being signed off from work due to abuse.
      I’m starting to see me leaving could coincide with when I need to go back to work and I’m very worried I am not going to be able to function well at first and might need a period of time off to recover a bit initially. I’m not sure if I’m being dramatic or overthinking things that haven’t happened yet though.

      Do you need to have a previous history of going to your GP about your mental health for them to sign you off? Does anyone know what the limit of time is for being off?
      Is it easy to do? Will I need to have reported the abuse to them already for them to allow it or believe me? Again, it’s difficult for me to make a phone call to my GP to report the abuse as you have to arrange a telephone appointment and as I’m always with him I can’t have privacy for the call. I can’t lie either as he’ll ask me and he knows I never, ever call the GP. He’s also suspicious at the moment so I need to be very careful.

      Thanks for reading x

    • #122226
      Hetty
      Participant

      Could you talk to your employer? They might give you special leave. Yes a gp could with you a sick note on grounds of stress/mental health but you’d have to factor in what your sick leave pay entitlement is.

    • #122227
      Hetty
      Participant

      Also, your employer might offer flexible working if you feel you could still be in work – reducing your hours for a period of time? Depends on the type of job you have and how you’re feeling. Take the time if you need it. Your well-being comes first. I found I managed ok with flexible working arranged by my manager. X

      • #122269
        gettingtired
        Participant

        Thank you for that Hetty. The reality is that when I do leave and move home it’s going to make my job (that’s already a bit too much of a commute for what it is) even more of a silly commute. So I’d need to look at a new job eventually anyway.
        One of my work colleagues told me that they had to flee from abuse last year. They had left our work and moved away with the abuser but managed to escape and come back a year or so later. Our manager was supportive and offered them a position to come back again so I’m hopeful they would be supportive of me too.
        Worst comes to worst I’d just have to leave altogether and start job searching again.. Not ideal but I’d be living at home so money wouldn’t be much of a stress initially. Just want to avoid as much stress as possible when it happens but know I won’t be able to control everything. Sigh. Sorry I ramble so much on here.
        Thank you for your support xx

    • #122228
      Hetty
      Participant

      I found everyone I told – the bank, my gp, my boss etc all believed what I said and that was that. I didn’t have to prove anything and I was thankful of that. X

    • #122235
      Wildsoul
      Participant

      Ooh, I wondered that to. Thanks for asking. As far as I can see, all the publicity during covid19 has made people far more understanding, and some unlikely places trying to help – I found out yesterday that pharmacies have safe places you can use a phone.

      • #122270
        gettingtired
        Participant

        Hey, yes I think it has. Also, famous people being outed as abusers in the news etc seems to be bringing a bit more publicity. The amount of victim blaming I’ve read online though is shocking and proves there is still such a long way to go. Yes I heard through social media about how you can seek support at pharmacies so there are some positives online x

    • #122272
      Bettertimesahead
      Participant

      I was signed off for (detail removed by moderator) with stress related to domestic abuse after my marriage ended quite suddenly in a traumatic event.My line manager and colleagues were and continue to be v supportive.

      • #122416
        gettingtired
        Participant

        Thank you, glad you had support from your work xx

    • #122276
      Eve1
      Participant

      Have thou tried your local Citizens Advixe? I spoke to mine recently about being signed off sick and benefits and they were helpful. You can chat to them online usually.

      Eve
      x

      • #122417
        gettingtired
        Participant

        Hi Eve1, no I haven’t as making phone calls isn’t always easy at the moment living with him but I didn’t realise you could speak to them online so thank you for that. xx

    • #122311
      maddog
      Participant

      Domestic Abuse isn’t a diagnosis, but the most obvious conditions that are associated are Depression, Anxiety, PTSD.

      Please try not to feel ashamed about the behaviour and actions of someone else. By letting people know your situation, it shows that you’re being pro-active. I told the bank as well. I also made the people I work with aware of the situation. It’s not our fault.

      • #122418
        gettingtired
        Participant

        Thank you maddog, you’re right it’s not our fault. I think I just get scared as so many people don’t understand and blame the victim. There’s also that concern for protecting the abuser from looking bad x

    • #122314
      Neueranfang
      Participant

      I confided in my employer a few days ago after leaving my abusive relationship (detail removed by moderator) ago and I explained things to her and her reaction was really great.She said to take as much time off as I need and that I’ve got her support all the way.You could take a week off and then ask your gp to sign you off because of stress or anxiety for another week or so….X*x

      • #122419
        gettingtired
        Participant

        Thank you, I’m so glad your work have been supportive xx

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