Cannot believe I’ve broken free and disgusted at what he’s done

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Ladies I feel shock, disbelief and so emotional but cannot cry that I’ve actually managed to break free I never thought I would!!! Everything he did ia now really hitting home itz a massive shock mg stomach is in knotts!

[Falling Skys]

Hi PL

It shock me to the core when I analysed what I had been living in I knew it wasn’t right but I didn’t realise I was being abused.

I very thought I would be free (well I’m almost there)

Big hugs

FS xx

[Confused123]

Hey HUn

Welldone for escaping, i know when it hits u what u have experienced u r just in shock mode, make sure u continue to get support, post on here when ever u feellow or unsure, make sure u go no contact

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Hi FS. Thanks for your comments. It’s horrid isn’t it? I think I’ve been in tight end flight mode and now he’s finally backed down and let me get on with it (there is no way in hell that he could put a stop to this) I am now suffering from an anti climax. It’s like I don’t know how to stop being strong because that’s all I have been up until now. I now have to try and come to terms with this and I’m glad my DV support worker is around. I don’t call the helpline enough either and I will do now. I am going to do as much as I can to heal, get this out and keep posting on here. I feel very very brace I keep crying in the car! We will get there FS I promise x*x

[Positiveandlookingahead]

I am no contact my divorce is not being contested I’m very close to moving along the road of freedom. I’ve been on tenterhooks not knowing if he would divorce me or if he would contest it but I feel shocked my freedom is about to become a possibility. I never ever ever thought that this day would come! He has shouted, been rude, manipulated and controlled me through every single letter. Don’t get me wrong there was still a hint of it here but he has backed down and that really scares the living daylights out of me. How has he suddenly let me do this? Maybe his Solicitor advised that there is nothing he can do even if he disagrees we will do it without him! I’m praying this is really going to be the end I have been no contact since I left him and whilst I was no contact I was seeing a Solicitor which he knew nothing about x

[Nova]

…hi Ladies,

I’m slowing coming to terms with was has happened to me, though I’m still dazed & my thinking confused, I feeling fearful…even though he’s not around, with awful flashbacks to his nasty ways of verbal & emotional abuse…I was not completely at ease, on eggshells in the end, silenced..& I kept trying to convince myself that I was at fault.
I looked back on some of his emails & texts and he’s totally contradicting himself & me at the same time!
I’m taking it step by step…I really am in disbelief that he could hate so much..he hates himself.
Thank goodness I got out & will have a life though I totally regret ever spending a minute with him, sharing & caring for a monster.

[Positiveandlookingahead]

Hi there Cuppa. How are you? I felt exactly the same after I left him I even lost my job as I kept making mistakes my mind sss not functioning I’m surprised I even got dressed and got to work but I did! I could not quite believe what I had been a part of and what he had been doing to me. I kept it all to myself until I finally find the courage to leave and that’s when I let everything out and I told my parents everything!

I would wake up in sweats half way through the night because I was in total shock, disbelief and hurt to the absolute extreme. But, look where I am today my lovely? I have reached such an amazing place right now sure I have my bad days sometimes but I’ve really really got to a great place mentally, emotionally, physically but financially I’m nearly there. You want to know how I got there? Talking. Every time I felt complete and utter despair I phoned the Samaritans or the helpline. I’ve been speaking to family and friends and my goodness they’ve always been there. I’ve written my feelings down, I’ve taken each day as it comes, tried not to expect too much at once, tried to be kind to myself. I’ve spent hours and hours sleeping snd resting and you need that. Going for walks has helped too getting fresh air. I’ve gone to a local gym and regularly go to exercise classes and no one there knows anything about me. Sure there are people who know I’ve been married others don’t but those in my class are completely new people they don’t know anything about my past snd I’ve tried to keep it confidential at work although a few people may kmow! But, I’m trying to start a new life snd keeping happy, positive people around me. You can do this I know you can! Everything that you are experiencing is expected it’s all part of the process of healing. I’m rooting for you xxxx

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