25th February 2016 at 1:11 pm #10428
It is a while since I left but it is the best thing that I have done but I have moments like today where I can’t actually believe that I was strong enough and I actually did it and plucked up the courage to actually leave!! Does anyone else have moments like this? So pleased with myself – different set of problems now e,g finances etc but not having to worry about how he is going to react to everything that I do is such a relief – appreciating it more and more each day 🙂 x
25th February 2016 at 1:15 pm #10431
To all those wondering if you can do it – yes you can – I am not saying it will be easy but you are stronger than you think 🙂
Just make sure you get advice and leave secretly and safely x
25th February 2016 at 1:24 pm #10434SerenityParticipant
Yes, New Life, I look back on the last year and can’t believe what I achieved!
You steel yourself for doing what you know you need to do. Head down, you forge ahead.
The best advice I got in the early days was to try to cut off the emotion ( as far as possible!) about him and not allow myself to feel anything which might cloud my judgement and hinder my actions. That he was a fraud, he would try to emotionally blackmail me, but he had shown me who he really was and I mustn’t allow him to sway me. I managed to do this, to salvage my family in terms of Cafcass and finances, and he indeed proved himself ( when I wouldn’t give in) to be wires than I ever thought. Thank God I took the above advice.
Now, I am exhausted! There are days that I sleep during the day now- I never would have before. I think my body is now recuperating. Whilst fighting the biggest battle, I had to keep going, and adrenaline and a sense of justice and lioness protection towards my kids ( and yes, myself ) enabled me to carry on x
25th February 2016 at 1:29 pm #10435
Hi Serenity – well done- you are so strong – I really appreciate the little things now whereas I found it difficult to appreciate anything when I was living with him as he ruined everything. It is amazing the inner strength you find when you need it most isn’t it – people have told me how strong I have been over the past few months but I didn’t really realise but I think I am beginning to now! Nice to see you back 🙂
25th February 2016 at 1:43 pm #10441SerenityParticipant
Thank you. X
PS Yes, I couldn’t enjoy anything with him. Now, every little thing seems so beautiful.
You don’t need much to be happy- a very simple life without an abuser is all you need to be deliriously happy.
25th February 2016 at 2:14 pm #10444SilkyHalideParticipant
It’s amazing after decades to think in a few months I’ve made leaps and bounds.
Previously attempts, Even after telling all my family what he was really like last time, I still went back. The shame wasn’t enough to stop him drawing me back in.
This time I’ve actually done it.
You can’t be ready for everything they throw at you but get a plan for everything you can think of and read lots. I could have prepared better as I’ve done reactive reading rather than reading before hand. I get some things wrong but learning from my mistakes.
25th February 2016 at 2:22 pm #10445mixed-up mumParticipant
I did not plan my leaving – I had WANTED to leave for so many years but didn’t have the courage – then one night I don’t know where it came from – but somehow – I did it and we left with all we could carry in a few black bags – best thing I ever did!!!!! 🙂
25th February 2016 at 7:58 pm #10459missgiddypantsParticipant
well done you ,go gal ,you done better than me I stayed until he left me but I live my life how I want now not have to answer to anyone ,a lady I worked for told me your stronger than you think ,it’s taken me a long time to see that and now wouldn’t give up my life for any man x
28th February 2016 at 9:20 am #10678
Well done all – you are all so strong. Like you silky halide I am still learning – I have too children with him so unfortunately have to have some interaction – would love to go no contact ideally! Still struggle not to let him get back in my head at times but getting better and leaving was defintely the best decision in the world – he kept telling me he was moving out with the lady he was seeing but never actually did the decent thing which left me having to be the one to leave – so pleased I did 😀😀😀 stay strong all x
29th February 2016 at 9:27 am #10734Confused123Participant
I know its the best feeling in the world knowing u just not gonna get beaten up, no one gonna throw abuse at u unnecessarily, u can sleep in peace and u can just be on your phone without been accused of sleeping around , wow just b****y brillant can be us
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