Viewing 6 reply threads
  • Author
    • #141023

      Hi everyone

      I’m new here so if I do something wrong please let me know.

      So I have been in this relationship for (detail removed by Moderator) years and the abuse is escalating I’m black and blue right now. I suffer both mental and physical health issued so I cannot work. I have been waiting on PIP decision for (detail removed by Moderator) months after my last claim expired. At (detail removed by Moderator) I’m under the 35 year age range to allow housing support for 1 bedroom so would only get shared housing which with that and my unfit for work and work related duties adds to about 900 ish a month including housing..
      How can I leave?
      The police have been called numerous times but as he leaves before they arrive they never follow up on anything, council have no temp housing and rent I just can’t afford. I would just love it if someone who has been through similar could give me some advice because I need to leave I can’t take anymore of it but right now I can’t and he knows that

    • #141034
      Twisted Sister

      Hello Trixiedix

      Welcome and well done for reaching out, and all the reporting you’ve done for his abuses. Based on your current most recent assault and injuries, and your financial position, I would think you could get a 24 hour non-molestation order against him, and a residency order, so he would have to leave and not return. I am trying to think of the organisation that can do these for you (I believe they claim any legal costs under your financial situation via legal aid). NCDV – I have put a link to their site HERE for you, there is a number to call, and they liaise closely with the police also, so this would save you having to, again.

      Have you taken photos of your injuries and sent them, either emailing to yourself, or to the police domestic abuse teams? Somewhere so they are recorded for evidence, if needed at any time in the future, or now if you wanted to do that.

      You don’t say about your current housing and whether he owns, or you jointly rent, etc., but the council and benefits could help you wth this based on your situation as it is now and has been for so long.

      Prioritise what you need right now, for you, look after youself in any way you can, and do keep talking and posting. What support do you have, who do you have that you could speak in confidence to and trust 100%? Also, do share with your GP what has been happening, and they cannot give out confidential information about you without your explicit permission to do so.

      There are choices, and you are not alone, there are many here who can understand and feel for what you are suffering, you don’t have to suffer alone or in silence.

      warmest wishes


    • #141506

      I wasn’t successful in getting an occupation order so had to leave the family home with kids, that means he doesn’t know where we are which is the right thing for our circumstances. If you can’t stay in your current home, do you have a friend or relative that would take you in? There are some charities that are really helpful , I managed to get grants for a fridge, washing machine and some carpets after we got social housing. You will be surprised at the help out there, but those doors don’t open until you’re ready. Best wishes

    • #143056

      Hello Trixiedix, adding my welcome to you. Your post I just found! I feel for you and I hope you got help and support outside of here? I see you had a couple of helpful and supportive replies. Hopefully you managed to get the help you need? Hope your ok? Keep posting here for support, when it is safe for you to do so? 💞

    • #144404

      Refuge ringing women’s aid or going to/phoning the council to put down as homeless, if you went to refuge the support staff will help you find a suitable property and your mail will go there so you won’t have to go back to the property but either way give women’s aid a ring so they can advise you next course of action.I ended up in refuge (my health issue made me vulnerable and my past perpetrator was capitalising on it, as is yours) you do need outside support from domestic abuse agencies and if you’ve not yet please see the gp to have check over for your bruises and to make sure he’s not broken anything (they will also be able to help maybe not with housing but defiantly agencies) or if you can just stay with someone you know in the meantime (if you’ve not been isolated due to him and your disability) please keep in touch so we can know your ok and how your getting on 💛💞💛

    • #144420

      I wanted to say hi and welcome to the group… How are you today? You have had some great, informative responses… I just wanted to add that if you can please go to your GP so they can access your injuries and maybe you could speak to a GP in confidence? Also, as mentioned you can apply for a ex parte non molestation and residence order through NCDV (Twisted Sister added the link for you)… I found NCDV very helpful and even though I was terrified when I first rang them they soon put me at ease as they are DA trained so they understand…. my local citizens advice was helpful with the abuse side and housing advice.
      Keep posting ❤

    • #155372

      Hi there,

      I went via hotel and dv shelters. I too sounded like I was in similar situation- I had some money but no ongoing job.

      Keep safe.

Viewing 6 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2024 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ JobsAccessibility Guide

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content