Can’t cope

[Neueranfang]

I don’t think I can go to work next week with everything going on and my Ex still hiding away and the police not able to arrest him.
I didn’t want to go down the route and tell my work place about all this to avoid the humiliation but (detail removed by Moderator) told me one in four women are experiencing domestic abuse and that it is very likely that someone in my workplace has experienced it themselves or know someone.
Anyway…does anyone know if every workplace has to have a domestic abuse policy in place?
And what would it say.I’m building up the courage to tell my employer today but I would like to know my rights beforehand and I don’t want to risk loosing my job!Many thanks x*x

[Diverdi]

sorry you are going through this. I’m not an expert but dont think paid leave is compulsory in the UK yet. You could ring ACAS and ask what rights you have?
Remember you can self certify for up to one week. Just search for sickness self certificate and you can download the form. You can just say stress related illness if you want to. As you are currently too stressed to do your job.
I found it was helpful to tell work, but I am fortunate to work with lovely supportive people. It also helped me stay strong knowing other people were aware.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t want to tell my work either but honestly once I did tell them they were fantastic and really supportive, my boss told me she had previously experienced abuse too. She also said another team member was experiencing emotional abuse but didn’t say who (we are a large team). It may help for them to know. Could you go your doc and get signed off as a temporary measure while your stressed out? You would get statuary sick pay then although it’s not much. Sending hugs x*x

[gettingtired]

Hey could you tell your line manager who could then inform HR? You don’t have to tell every work colleague and your manager will have to keep it confidential from the others.
I think it would be a weight off your shoulders. The last two jobs I’ve been in there has been at least one woman who’s confided in me that they’re experiencing or experienced domestic abuse. It is way more common than we all realise.
Also, I agree with BrokenMe suggesting getting signed off through your GP just to give you some time to process things? X*x

[Neueranfang]

My Ex actually turnt up at my place (detail removed by Moderator) (even though police are looking for him) and he managed to get into the block (probably neighbours) and then stood in front of my front door demanding to get in.I asked him to leave and called 999 straight away and they came out and he run off.It is sooo stressful.I mean that is why I got back with him in the past (I tried to leave many many times before) because the stress he is causing when I’m trying to get out of the relationship is unreal.He just doesn’t get it that after (detail removed by Moderator) of abuse it is done.He thinks he is entitled to me.Entitled to control my every move.In the end I was so sick and tired of walking on egg shells.He wanted me to give my job up.Obviously he doesn’t want me to be out there in the world (I’m a key worker) but keep me isolated.Every morning I was so scared for him to wake up and as soon as he would get up he would start on me cause of work and I would drive to work crying, then get so scared he might turn up there or ring the reception and humiliate me.Since he turnt up at my flat (detail removed by Moderator), I’m not convinced anymore he won’t turn up at my workplace.I don’t think it is safe.This is just too much!I’m gonna tell one of my closest work colleagues now.I will send her a message and ask her for advice.I know she will be lovely and understanding.Thanks for all your advice x*x

[Hawthorn]

Oh what a horrible thing for him to do, these men have no shame. Well done on reaching out to your work colleagues, my work has been amazing. I was very open about what was happening at home because I hoped my story might encourage anyone else in my team in similar situation to reach out…I couldn’t believe the number of my colleagues that have suffered domestic abuse at some stage, either as adults or children. It is the silent pandemic. You will be believed and supported. Good luck xx

[Neueranfang]

I haven’t reached out to my work colleagues just yet.I’m building up the courage to do so tonight.I don’t really want anyone to call me, rather text or whats app as I’m constantly breaking out in tears when I am describing to people what I’ve been through.I have to do it as I am in no fit state to work at the moment.Thanks for all your support x*x

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