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Had the rented house (detail removed by Moderator), all ready but i cant do it. I feel horrendous, crying constantly, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts when leaving
He went away for (detail removed by Moderator), was my perfect time to go, i froze and was in such a state the whole time he was away.
He came back, did the whole love bombing, im sorry, manipulated me, and now ive agreed to try again 🙁
I still have the rented house, but obviously its costing me so much money and its sitting empty.
Why cant i go? why do i feel so worthless without him? i havent been happy in years so why am i feeling this way? i feel so stupid xx
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Oh lovely I wish we could all come and help you as I know how hard this step is. Like you I had perfect chance when he was away but just could not do it. I had my new house (detail removed by Moderator) before I moved in too. It was the guilt of letting my mum down and losing the house which finally outbalanced the guilt of leaving him, but that’s the problem the guilt inside us about leaving is tying you in. The panic attacks, the tears, the fear, it’s all keeping you trapped BUT it is also your body telling you you need to do this. It’s trying to protect you from staying. A couple of things that might help – a) you might just wake up one day and do it – trust yourself, b) you need someone to force you or c) you need someone to remove him which is probably the harder one.
There is no perfect time to leave. You’ll wait forever waiting for it and no matter what you do or how you do it, there will be a reaction.
Deep breath, in your own words, what do you think is stopping you? x*x
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