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    • #12941
      Flower girl
      Participant

      Hi bit of background here i finally plucked up the courage to ask for a divorce he wouldn’t except it so I got an (detail removed by Moderator) he’s been emotionally financially and physically abusing me for years (detail removed by Moderator) he had knowwere to live lies!!! (detail removed by Moderator) me and kids had to flee the house as I could not continue to reside in the house we are now homeless hotel hopping (detail removed by Moderator)!!! i need some advice I have support from IDVA and even they can’t believe judge made that decision is their any way I can get him out of the house (detail removed by Moderator) and my husband is a (detail removed by Moderator) is manipulating this to his advantage he’s go legal representation I’ve got non help please

    • #12942
      KIP.
      Participant

      Can you speak to his boss at work? As (detail removed by Moderator) he won’t want anything criminal against him. Or even risking it. Your local MP? My husband was (detail removed by Moderator) too. He wouldn’t leave either. Eventually he assaulted me and I rang the police. He was arrested. So don’t be scared to ring them if you feel threatened, they were great with me. Secretly record any abuse you can. You will need hard evidence. My ex tried to make my son and I homeless. It’s shocking how they treat their children too. (detail removed by Moderator) Where does your abuser go when it’s his turn to leave the home? Can’t believe your situation x shout loud.

    • #13000
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Can you appeal to the court? I would not accept such a ruling. Do you work? If not you can have legal aid and fight the abusive ex into the ground.
      Do you still pay bills for the house? Do you have equal shares?
      (Detail removed by Moderator) What can you loose? If the house gets sold you can use the money to start a new life with your children.

    • #13370
      Escaped not free
      Participant

      I am also homeless with three children, (not his). I fled the house, asked the police to tell him to stop harassing me but they charged him and gave him police bail to our home…hence homeless hostel. I am a professional who in the back of my salary we co own a five bed house which he is residing in himself. I am having to pay all the household bills while he lives there but because of my income do not quslify for assistance with housing benefit. Every agency is dumbfounded that police bailed him to our home. I have a solicitor who is applying for an exclusion order but it’s taking ages so get one asap. This us costing me the little savings I had for my children’s uni funds. Just a few thousand but it will be gone and then some by the end of this. I can’t work due to the stress and my children are suffering. It’s unbearable. After posting on the site I went ahead and detailed a complaint and sent it to the crown prosecution service, the police, all my local counsellors, and low and behold I am starting to get people to listen. Although tonight a police officer was to come and take a statement and didn’t show. My ex has breeches his bail conditions twice and the police have done nothing. Complain, complain, complain. No public person wants to be responsible for knowingly allowing this to happen to a family. One of the counsellors actually contacted me today to say he has contacted the chief of police whilst she is on leave to express his concern. He sits on the police board and says he is extremely disapointed about how this has been handled and will be monitoring it closely. The procurator fiscal has also demanded the police take full statements about my executive general behaviour before his court case, something they have refused to do before now as they say it is a civil matter. I’m hoping that the PF imposes bail restrictions that allow us home. Get the house sold and get out of our lives.
      Get a specialist solicitor, one who cuts through all the negotiation c**p and takes them to court.
      Be very and honest and frank in your affidavit, leave ur shams to the side as I had to. Imagine it was one of your children this was being done to and think if this behaviour would be acceptable.
      Get to your go and explain what this is doing to you. Get ur kids to the go if it’s affecting them…my son ended up in counselling.
      Keep a diary of everything and report everything. If they refuse to take a statement complain and complain.
      I k is you don’t have the energy the to do all this just now and making dinner seems overwhelming but the other night I came to the conclusion I die…literally as I couldn’t go on and I leave my kids with that mess or I reach out to every single authority, agency, person of power. Write one state of complaint and copy and paste it to everyone. I didn’t think it would make a difference but it seems to at least be making people interested in the outcome of this case and wether justice is done as it hasn’t up until now. I k is where u are at because I’m there too. Please do it. It seems like climbing Everest but when u start it starts to make u feel a little better and a little more in control. Even if it’s an illusion, it stops u thinking about taking a bottle of pills for a while. Xxxx

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