Can't get it to sink in

[LizSKY]

I still find that I’m trying to convince myself that one day I’ll wake up and everything will be normal – a lovely relationship, a great dad. Everytime I think I’ve accepted that it won’t be ok, I just get sucked back in to how I would love it to be. Widening the boundaries of what I’ll allow to happen before I take the next step.

I just don’t want to get him in trouble, I’ve been trying so hard to make sure that everythings good – nothings ever good enough though. I know it doesn’t work like that but I just can’t seem to get it to sink in. He just seems to be enjoying watching me struggle trying to hold everything together and I’m completely failing.

I took the kids to a sports club, he wanted to go. He was so lovely in there talking to me and being lovely to everyone. Got back to the car and he just pretends I’m not there, like I’m not even speaking to him. And then there’s me running round after him and letting him get away with it.

Trying to get out more but it seems impossible. I speak to Women’s aid and I’m so positive that I am going to sort it all out but I don’t really have a clue. Sorry for another post, the 1 person I told about it now avoids me so I find myself here 🙂 Xx

[freedomtochoose]

I’m sure that women’s aid have seen it all before lovely. I’m sure they don’t expect anyone to have all the answers otherwise they wouldn’t be doing what they are doing…eh?
Hope that is some confort. Sorry not to be of more help.
x

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